


Books, Summer, Coffee and You

by justanartist



Category: Glee
Genre: Humor, M/M, Nerd Blaine, Popular Kurt, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 18:35:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1575443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanartist/pseuds/justanartist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine loves books, Blaine loves to study and he is in love with the popular Kurt Hummel for two years now. But he never talked to Kurt, never made eye contact with him and he doubts that Kurt even knows he exists.</p>
<p>nerd!barista!Blaine and popular!Kurt</p>
<p>Here is the sequel <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1576838/chapters/3347849">School, Homework, Love and Life With You</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Daydreams

Part 1. Daydreams

Blaine didn’t like prom. He never enjoyed being around all those couples or dates. Mainly because they were all straight. Every single one of them and he, he was anything but straight. If someone would ask him to describe himself he would say two words. Gay and nerd. His first year at McKinley was like a blury memory, his second year was terrible. First they laughed about him because he was short. In his third year they laughed about him because he was still short and came out. But during his third year he found some friends who helped him against the bullies. And as they found out what kind of a nerd he was they left him alone because he was too boring. He became a shadow, no one noticed him, no one thought he was special. He was just Blaine. Blaine who loved bow ties and suspenders. Blaine who liked to gel his hair. Blaine who knew everything and had awesome grades. Oh and not to mention Blaine Anderson who was part of the Glee club. His friends always praised him for his voice and his talent although he still needed to be more relaxed and just flow with the music. But he didn’t want to do that. He was only a member of the Glee club because the people there were nice to him and he loved to sing and music in general. But he never wanted to become a musician or actor. It was just his hobby.

However, now was prom time and Blaine stood aside from the crowd and watched those people dance, smile and have a good time. Well so it seemed. What was a prom without some drama? For sure somewhere outside the hall girls were fighting, boys fighting over a girl, other tried to spike the punch and some chatted about who will be prom-queen and prom-king. Blaine wasn’t interested in any of that. He was just here because his friend from Glee club were singing and because of some good looking guy named Kurt Hummel.

Blaine was in love with Kurt Hummel since his second year at McKinley. He had the most beautiful eyes, he had the best taste in fashion, he was a good student but no nerd and he seemed to be kind and a good friend. Blaine wished he could be friends with him but there was only one thing that made it impossible. Kurt was popular and always around those other popular kids like Puck or Quinn. They all knew them, they all had respect towards them and people like Blaine were only a shadow, a nobody for those people. He never talked with Kurt, they had only one class together but they didn’t even sit together. Once he borrowed Kurt his pen but he didn’t even notice it was Blaine. No, they never talked with each other, never made eye contact, nothing. It was always Blaine who stood somewhere far away and was watching Kurt. His smile when someone told him a story, how his nose wrinkled when he laughed, his bitch glare when someone pissed him off. He new all those faces of Kurt Hummel and loved each one of them. Not to mention his long legs, or his perfect styled hair.

He never really asked someone out about him. Only once, the first time he saw him he asked Rachel who he was and she said dramatically: Mr. Popular Kurt Good-Looking Hummel. He never asked anything else. Not if he was gay or if he had a girlfriend or anything. It was hard to tell because he never saw him kissing a girl or a boy. He never saw him doing anything else than hang out with those popular kids. He didn’t want people to know that he loved Kurt Hummel and wanted to be with him. No, this would never happen so he kept this little thing for himself. With a sigh he shoved his glasses up his nose and took a sip from his water. Only one year and then he would leave McKinley and would never ever attend a prom again. He wanted to go somewhere else. San Francisco, Chicago, New York, somewhere far away from Lima, from Ohio where he couldn’t be who he was and love who he wanted to.

Maybe he would really go to San Francisco, the place of Harvey Milk and listen to all those stories people could tell him. He could study history, become a teacher. Something like that and during his summer break he would think about that.

Right now he was too distracted with watching Kurt, wearing a suit and looking so good Blaine thought he would pass out because he was so breathtaking. Kurt was dancing with Quinn, swirling her around and smiling because they had so much fun. Daydreaming was nothing new for Blaine it was like a thing that happened on instinct when he was watching Kurt. Right now he dreamed about how he would dance with him, lean his head against Kurt’s shoulder, nuzzling against his neck. Oh he might be small but he would fit perfectly there. He was sure they both would look good together, despite his glasses and his bow ties. In his dreams they both would look perfect together. Be perfect for each other. In his dreams, yes, but the reality was different. The reality was that Kurt was popular, many girls had a crush on him and the teachers loved him. Damn, the whole world loved him and wanted a piece of Kurt Hummel. And Blaine was nothing like that. He was the nerd, the one with good grades, reading and studying all the time, hiding behind his glasses and bow ties. Blaine Anderson would never be at Kurt Hummel’s side. He was nobody and Kurt was somebody.

“Blaine!” he heard Rachel calling him and turned around, seeing her trying to get pass the dancing crowd. She was wearing a red dress, hair falling over her shoulders and Finn right behind her.

“Why are you standing here all alone?”

“You know I don’t like dancing.”

“It’s a shame because we all know how good you can dance,” she said with an encouraging smile. Blaine smiled back, looking at Finn for a second and then back to Rachel.

“I’m really not in the mood. Go and have fun, I’ll leave soon. You know… exams are close and I want to study tomorrow.”

It was always his best explanation and it always worked. Of course it worked, they all knew how important it was for Blaine to study and get an A in each class.

“Don’t forget to live, okay?”

“Sure.”

Live. He never thought that he didn’t live. His life might be without any drama or exciting things, but it was good. Yeah, it was alright how it was because how should he miss something when he never lost anything? He had everything so far and he couldn’t miss something when he never experienced it, right? His daydreams were just dreams and nothing that actually happened so it would be stupid to miss something that… wasn’t real. To be honest only thinking that Kurt had everything – he was a cheerio the first year, then football player and always the best in it – frustrated Blaine because he could never be that good or even popular.

After an hour he left and curled into his bed, escaping in his daydreams.

~~~~~

Last day of school, the last day of feeling like a shadow last day of being a junior. The last two years it made Blaine happy but this year it didn’t. Next year would be the last year he could watch Kurt, enjoy his daydreams and breathing the same air with him. Only one year and then he would never see him again and this hurt somehow. It was not like he got any chances but just… knowing they were at the same place and he could see him was enough for him. As if he would ever ask Kurt out or confess his feelings. No way. Kurt would probably laugh at him or worse ask him who he was and then politely say, no thank you, or, sorry but I’m not gay. This would hurt even more then being apart from him, being rejected by Kurt Hummel. That’s why he went to the Lima Bean, asking for a job as a barista and get the distraction he needed. The money was just a nice side effect – of course he would spent it for his future college. And he loved coffee. The first day of his summer break was also the first day working as a barista. Before he began to work he made sure to know everything about the machines, all the different coffee orders. Blaine read books, watched videos and went to the Lima Bean to get a first hand experience before he started to really work and get money for it.

He put enough gel into his hair so not one curl was sticking out, he wore his brown shirt and a black bow tie, simple jeans and a green apron from the Lima Bean. The first two hours of his midday shift were mainly quiet and he really enjoyed what he was doing. Not only because he liked to create all these different coffee orders but people were actually recognizing him, talking to and with him and giving him lovely smiles. Attention was never something he wished people would give him only that people would notice him and know his name and not just call him ‘the nerd’ or something. Yes, it was a good idea to ask for this summer job and get the distraction he needed. It was until a group of laughing people came in and Blaine knew those laughs too well. He looked up from behind the counter where he stood and saw Puck, grinning at Quinn, followed by a Santana, Mike and also Finn and Kurt. He knew them all because they were in Glee club expect Kurt. Finn only hung out with them because he played football. Quinn, Santana and Brittany were cheerios and Puck and Mike played also football. Kurt wasn’t a cheerio or football player anymore but he never lost is popularity. He always left some positive impression and many cheerios or football player asked for his advice and he was always nice and helped them. God, Blaine felt like a stalker for knowing such things. With shaking knees he walked to the counter, taking their orders but to his disappointment it was only Puck and Mike who made the orders while the their friends sat down and talked about something.

Blaine nodded while his eyes flicked to Kurt and back and with a final nod and a thank you he began to work. Great, his first day just went into a different direction. Into one where he wasn’t distracted anymore but focused on the group of talking and laughing people and in the middle of it sat Kurt nodding as Puck said something. What would he give to sit next to Kurt, talk with about something, something he wanted to talk about because Blaine doubted he would like to get a little history lesson or something about Harry Potter or anything. Kurt for sure wasn’t into those kind of things like Blaine was.

“Dude, you never told us that you work here,” Finn said as he came to he counter to take their coffee.

“It’s my… first day here. Just over the summer to get some money for college.”

“That’s awesome. Maybe you want to sit with us? If you aren’t busy?”

Blaine felt heat crawling from his toes up to his head and shook his head violently: “Oh.. no. I’m… I’m really busy here. It’s my first day like I said.”

Finn nodded, smiled and walked back to his friend. Sitting with them? With all those popular people? No, Blaine would feel only worse. Being a shadow was okay but turning into thin air? No, this was even too much for him to handle. Also sitting with Kurt? So close? Blaine saw himself being totally awkward and not saying a single word and everyone would just stare at him and probably begin to make jokes about his height or his glasses. Nope, behind the counter was his safe place and he was fine with that.

Thirty minutes later they left the coffee shop and Blaine let out a breath he didn’t know he held back. Finally the tension in his body left him and he stopped standing there like a sculpture and trying not to look at Kurt. God, this was not the way he wanted things to be. Being here should be the perfect distraction and a good lesson for how to talk and be with people. Yet it felt like he was still at school and watching the thing he admired the most from the distance. Yeah, totally great. The only hope left was that this was a singular occurrence and not something that became a regular occurrence. He really liked what he was doing here, something different as reading books until after midnight and reading random Wikipedia sites. Sighing he went to the empty table and put the cups away, wiping the table clean and going back behind his counter. He threw the cups one after another into the bin but stopped himself as he saw something written on a cup. He knew what he wrote down on those cups – each coffee order they made – but he didn’t remember to write something down on the nonfat mocha.

_Text me xo_ – and a number was written down. Number? Blaine didn’t write a number down. It wasn’t even his number or his handwriting. It was a nice handwriting nothing that looked like Pucks or Finns. More like a girl wrote it down. Maybe it was Brittany only making a joke while they were sitting there? They for sure had each others phone numbers. Or maybe they were making fun of… him? No… no, this was paranoid now. However, it bothered Blaine and it made him curios, like really. With his index finger he shoved his glasses back up his nose and stared at the words and the number. _Text me_ and an _xo_? Text whom, exactly?


	2. Hello

Part 2. Hello

Blaine never took something like a used cup with him home. Especially not when it wasn't his own cup. He made sure to wash the inside out – but not the message on the outside – and take the cup with him. Not that he collected something like this but he didn't want any other person to find this number if it was a number meant for him to find. Still, which sane person did something like that? Writing a number down, letting the cup on a random table and hoping, supposed person would find it? This was highly strange, right? Back home his mother greeted him with a kiss on his forehead and asked him how his first day of work was. Just great, he said and sat down in the kitchen. She talked about something but he wasn't really listening. His mind always went back to this number and if he should write this person a message or not. There were more things speaking against it like, what if they really wrote this number down for him and wanted to make fun of him? Fool him? Why not? Just because people left him alone didn't mean that they would do this forever. Oh, there they went his years of being a shadow.

"You alright, sweetie?" his mother asked when he didn't say anything.

"Um... yeah. Just tired I guess."

She smiled at him like a mother only could smile at her son: "Then finish up your pizza and go to sleep. Your dad will be late anyway."

"Uh huh," he nodded and did just that.

After dinner and a quick shower he pulled his favorite Star Wars pajama on and walked into his room. His room was always neat and clean and decorated with some posters and photos. One photos was from nationals when they won and they all were smiling while he stood there, totally awkward in his costume and blushing. Sometimes when he was blushing the heat was so strong that even his glasses became steamy and he blushed even more. Luckily this never happened too often. Huffing he took his eyes away from the photo and took a quick look at his Ravenclaw scarf and eyed his posters. One with Han Solo right over his desk, one of the Qudditch field and another from the last Harry Potter movie. Sometimes he wished he could be like Han Solo. Not because he was always in trouble and talked too much but he wished he had a little bit from him. That he could talk more or smile more and be a bit more self confident. Or even do some crazy things he usually would never do. Being smart and having good grades wasn't enough and for sure not everything in this world. Or that he could escape into the world of Harry Potter and ride a broom, play Quidditch and experience all these awesome things they had there. Of course he didn't want to go through the same things Harry did – only thinking about Voldemort made him shiver although he thought that Tom Riddle was an interesting character – but at least having those friends. Just doing crazy things and he knew he could but Blaine was too afraid to even try it. What if he got into real trouble? What about his grades? What would his parents think? What if he did something against the law?

Stop it you aren't planning a robbery or something, he told himself and went to his bookshelf. He didn't feel like reading. He read all the Potter books at least ten times, he even read Lord Of The Rings although this was a too verbose. Too many books in two bookshelf and not one caught his attention. He went to his other shelf right next to his flat TV screen where all his DVD boxes were. Thank god his parents had more than enough money and that he was an excellent student otherwise he would never get this stuff. He eyed the series he had, Supernatural, Friends, Sherlock – when did he watched all of those? - and his first series, Queer As Folk. The first time he saw the show he was almost sixteen and already then he knew he was gay. So he asked Cooper to buy him all five seasons because he was too afraid to talk with someone about that and he really wanted to know if... if something happened inside of him watching this. Blaine would never forget Coopers face and the way he asked him if he knew what this series was about. Blaine only nodded and at some point he came out to his brother who only hugged him without any words.

But when Blaine began to watch the series he understood why Cooper was so torn to buy the series for him or not. He saw it, he heard it and his eyes grew wide. It was his 16th birthday and he sat alone in his room, watching the first episode and choked on his glass of milk. Shocked he wiped his mouth dry and then the glass fell off his hand and there it was, a huge white mark on his dark blue blanket. Somehow Blaine ruffed his hair, shook his head in disbelieve and made a strange noise, so loud his mother heard him and on the TV two guys were making out and that not really quiet. He turned the TV off, jumped off his bed and said things were fine he just knocked his glass off. He couldn't even look at the white damp place on his blanket, although he knew it wasn't... _that_. It was milk! This was one of the most embarrassing moments in his life and luckily his mother never came into his room that night. Even now only thinking about that he blushed deep red. Later that night he took his laptop, his headphones and watched the first season without any sleep. It was the night he knew he was gay, it was the first night he jerked off to the thought of Brian Kinney although he was such a jerk. It was still... somehow shocking for him what he saw there but with time he understood more and more and the show became one of his favorite shows. Of course he made sure to only watch it with headphones and on his laptop because the things that happened there weren't meant for his parents ears. And he didn't come out to them at this point. It was also the beginning for his love for shows in general and after he watched all five seasons he came out to his parents and also at school.

Now he was almost eighteen, almost done with school and comfortable with his sexuality. Yet, he didn't feel like watching Queer as Folk, not really. He decided to watch something more innocent and funny, Lilo and Stitch – yeah he loved Disney and he would never stop loving it.

He crawled into his bed, after he put the DVD in and turned his TV on. But he couldn't focus on the movie, he smiled at the funny parts but only because he knew when they came. This stupid cup, this cup in his bag. It bothered him, it was there in his mind and gave him no peace.

He stared at his bag on the floor right next to his bed and after some seconds he grasp it and opened it. He didn't need a Sherlock Holmes to tell him that he would never stop thinking about this cup and the message on it. And it also needed no Sherlock to tell him that he would write a text to this number. Of course not because Blaine was curious and when Blaine was curious he really was it. Writing a text wouldn't do any harm to him. Whoever got the message, as long as Blaine didn't say who he was things were fine. He was safe here in his room – Stitch though made Lilos life a mess on the TV screen. Holding the cup in his hand he put the bag back down on the floor and reached out for his phone on the nightstand.

_Text me xo._

God, he was so unsure because he couldn't tell what would happen after that. What if the person wrote it and hoped Blaine would find the number and the answer would be like: Haha, I can't believe you do such things – or something worse. Blaine looked up, watching Lilo and Stitch surfing with her sister and stood up. No, probably nothing innocent. He needed something else. Supernatural, yes, this was good. Episode 6 season 4 he really liked the episode because Dean was always so brave but in this one he was scared about little things like... a cat.

Back on his bed while the episode started he heard Dean running and smiled to himself because he knew what was coming but his eyes were focused on the number. Now or never, he told himself, took a deep breath and typed the number down, saving it under the name 'Cup Number', opened the option messaging and stared at the empty space. And... now? His fingers were trembling, sweaty and his glasses slid down his nose. He shoved them back, moving his thumbs right over the display and typed a simple: Hello?

Yeah that was good, right? That was nothing to be worried about. Just a simple hello.

God, his heart was beating too fast for no real reason and as he hit send he almost threw the phone away and wanted to hide his face between the pillows. Biting his lower lip he placed the phone right in front of him, crossing his legs and fumbling with the hem of the blanket, staring at the TV but not really paying any attention to what was happening. Dean was laying in his car, air drumming to Eye of the Tiger and Blaine smiled when Sam came back and made Dean jump and Blaine jumped too as he heard his phone buzzing. Oh... oh shit... oh damn. He stared at it for a long time, took it into his hands and unlocked the display.

**Cup Number 10:34pm:**

_Hello? Is there the barista from the Lima Bean?_

Holy shit! So, this number was really written down for him? He gulped, feeling kind of curious and nervous but typed back.

**Blaine 10:37pm:**

_Uh... yeah. Who is there?_

He hit send and looked at his TV seeing how Dean and Sam drove to a old building, Dean being sick – and god Blaine felt sick too – and took a sip from the small bottle with alcohol he always carried around. Blaine actually didn't drink or at least not so much that he was drunk but he really could take one sip of some whiskey or something to calm his burning nerves. Let's do this!; Dean groaned and yeah, he wished he could say this to himself and convince himself. Again his phone were buzzing and he looked down.

**Cup Number 10:38pm:**

_You are Blaine, right?_

Oh... oh, okay this person really wanted him to find the number. Okay, good, he scratched his head and thought about his options and the things that could happen if he said who he was. Like before this could all be a joke. Maybe it was Finn? No, Finn wouldn't do such a thing. Puck would do it or Santana. Actually did it really matter if they were making a joke with him? Blaine had his friends who would stand beside him and he was used to this. But, was it worth it to give them what they wanted? If it was the case here? For some reason he answered and yeah, maybe it was time to do something crazy.

**Blaine 10:39pm:**

_Yes, it's Blaine and you are?_

The answer came immediately.

**Cup Number 10:39pm:**

_Kurt Hummel._

Suddenly someone screamed and Blaine wasn't sure if it was him or Dean in the TV or maybe both were screaming, but he dropped his phone, grabbed his pillow and began to hit his phone with the pillow like three times, like he tried to kill a spider , until he pressed the pillow down on his phone like he tried to choke it. Which was... impossible. He heard Dean swallowing, sighing, _that was scary_ , and hell it was. Blaine was trembling, feeling how sweat ran down his face and his heart pounded too fast against his chest.

Kurt? Kurt Hummel? Kurt Hummel was writing with him? Kurt knew his name? No way... This was a joke. Then he felt his phone vibrating and winced, another virbration and another wince. Oh God, this wasn't happening.

"Blaine!?" he heard his mother behind the door: "Is everything okay? I've heard a scream."

"Yeah... yeah mom! It was just Dean because he saw a cat!"

What was he saying? Like... Dean was just in his room or something.

"Then turn it down, you scared me."

"Sorry!"

He did just that and when he was sure she was gone he focused back on the pillow, listening but his phone went quiet. Blaine was basically panting, not able to move because this was Kurt freaking Hummel writing with him. Right? Or... wait. He suddenly calmed down and thought about the possibility that Kurt amazing Hummel would know who he was and his name. No, this wasn't possible this was close to a miracle or something like that. No way we knew who Blaine was. But... why would someone pretend to be Kurt Hummel? Why... oh shit! Did someone know he loved him? Did someone see him watching Kurt? Was one of his many daydreams the one that he shouldn't have? One that was so obvious he couldn't control himself and people saw his face, could read his face? Oh no... no, no, no. This wasn't happening. He had no idea where this confidence came from but he looked under the pillow, slowly only holding a tiny bit up so he could see his phone – Jesus it was his phone and not some dangerous animal or spider that could attack him. Okay, fine, he placed the pillow aside and unlocked his phone.

**Cup Number 10:44pm:**

_It's really me. It's really Kurt Hummel._

**Cup Number 10:50pm:**

_Blaine? Are you still there?_

Yeah, sure it was Kurt Hummel. This was the joke of the week.

**Blaine 10:52pm:**

_I don't believe you._

No. He might was anything but naïve. Of course Blaine had enough fantasy more than enough with all his books and DVDs but he wasn't naïve. He knew what was real and what not and what was possible and what not. And that Kurt Hummel would write him, or know him wasn't real and impossible.

**Cup Number 10:53pm:**

_You don't believe what exactly?_

**Blaine 10:54pm:**

_You being Kurt Hummel._

He waited for a while and then he saw a new message, but this time it wasn't a text it was a picture. Slowly Blaine shoved his glasses back up his nose and opened the pic. Holy fucking shit, he cursed in his head. This... this was a picture... a picture with Kurt. A picture with Kurt Hummel smiling at him sitting in a room that could be his room. A second one followed with Kurt pouting at him like to make sure Blaine didn't think it was fake. He wore the same black shirt, same styled hair, same room.

This was real... this was happening! He had a picture, no, he had _TWO_ pictures of Kurt freaking Hummel on _HIS_ phone! Kurt Hummel was texting with him. Kurt Hummel knew his name. Kurt Hummel gave him his number for... for what exactly?

**Blaine 11:00pm:**

_Oh my god!_

Blaine wrote and – damn – this wasn't meant for Kurt to read! This was only his thought, only for him because, _oh my god_ , he looked so beautiful when he saw him this close. More beautiful than Blaine imagined. And he just ruined everything with his awkward behavior when he couldn't control himself. Groaning he wished he could fall into a black hole and never come out again. Blaine took his pillow and smacked it against his face, three times and groaning into it so his mother wouldn't hear him. Another message and he pulled his pillow away, feeling exhausted and tired but read the message anyway.

**Cup Number 11:03pm:**

_Do I look this bad?_

**Blaine 11:03pm:**

_No! No... I.. nevermind. You look just fine!_

More than fine! God, he was the most beautiful person Blaine had ever seen in his entire life.

**Cup Number 11:06pm:**

_Thank u! So... you saw my number. I wasn't sure if you would notice it but I'm glad u did!_

Yeah, wow... this was a dream.

**Cup Number 11:07pm:**

_And you probably wonder why I wrote it down._

**Blaine 11:08pm:**

_I guess, I know why._

**Cup Number 11:08pm:**

_You do? :)_

Hey, woah, what was the deal with the smiley now?

**Blaine 11:09pm:**

_Making fun of me?_

No matter how awesome it was to texting him and knowing he knew him and his name, Blaine still listened to his sanity and what was real. Why would Kurt text him? It wasn't like they had anything in common. Actually they had nothing in common. They lived in two different worlds and right now their ways crossed for some minutes and then they would go back into their worlds. Kurt Hummel would never be a friend of Blaine or even more.

**Cup Number 11:11pm:**

_Actually I wanted to ask you out on a date. Or at least become friends._

Ask... him out? Him? Blaine? Kurt Hummel wanted to ask him out on a date? Blaine thought he would pass out by only the idea of this. But, even if this was true, even if Kurt would really want to do this what on earth should he do with him? What should he talk about? He never went on a date, he never had a boyfriend. _Woah, okay, slow down Blaine,_ he told himself, _no one is someones boyfriend yet and it won't happen._ With shaking fingers he answered him.

**Blaine 11:13pm:**

_You never talked to me in public. I don't believe you._

**Cup Number 11:14pm:**

_I'll do it. I promise! ;)_

Stop with those smiles, Blaine thought.

**Blaine 11:16pm:**

_It was nice texting you._

Not that he didn't want to write with Kurt, he actually couldn't think about something more amazing than this. Yet he didn't want to be the target, to be fooled and a naive boy. These feelings he had for Kurt were serious, strong and he was fine with having them for himself and not talking about those or showing them. It would only make him vulnerable and he didn't want that. Kurt didn't seem to be gay so why even going any further and hurting himself? Nope, Blaine wouldn't let that happen. He turned his phone off, took a fresh blanket out of his closet and turned the TV and lights out. Sleep, he would just sleep and wake up, realizing this was just a dream.

* * *

But the next morning he felt like he hadn't slept for days. During the night he woke up, went to the bathroom, drank a glass of milk and went back to his bed trying to fall asleep. Eventually around 4am he finally slept but needed to stand up around 8am. God, he never felt like this in a while. Completely worn out, almost like he had a hangover because his head hurt so bad. He took a shower, shaved and this time he didn't use some gel to straighten his curls but still made himself presentable with a bow tie around the collar of his white shirt, black suspenders and dark pants. After breakfast he cleaned his glasses, took his bag and put his lunch box inside his mother left for him in the kitchen before she went off to work. God, luckily his parents weren't home on the mornings from Monday to Friday. His mom would be so worried and ask him what was wrong. Yeah, he couldn't tell her the reason and he didn't want to.

He jumped into his car and drove to the Lima Bean, singing along to Arctic Monkey – A Certain Romance, making sure the windows were closed so no one would actually hear him. Well, his friends said he was an amazing singer but... even if it was true he wanted to keep this inside the Glee club and not somewhere else. Too much attention.

As he arrived he left his car, walked inside and behind the counter to put on his apron and greet his co-workers. The first wave of customers was already over and the second would just come around 4pm. Blaine never worked more than six hours because it was just a mini job to get some money. He still wanted to enjoy his summer break before he would go back to studying for his last school year. So he agreed on working six hours a day and this for the first four six weeks – the weekends were free. Then he would spent some time with his parents, his hobbies and the last two weeks his parents would leave for their yearly California trip and he would stay at home and repeat all the school stuff from the previous year. Yeah, maybe for other people it sounded boring to spent his summer break like he did. And just maybe he would change some things this year like going to Rachel's summer party or maybe he would go to Scandals, the only gay bar close enough to make it home within an hour. Actually this would be a good idea, right? To make some experiences with other men. Of course nothing sexual but flirting? Ugh, he groaned, flirting? He never flirted with someone. How? He didn't know other gay guys in his school and Kurt? No. He for sure wasn't interested in guys and made only fun of Blaine. It was better to think that way and just forget what happened last night. Luckily a customer came and Blaine put a smile on his face. Standing behind the counter he took the order from an older lady and smiled at her, saying he'll bring her coffee in a minute. Work, he needed to focus on his work. He took the coffee pot, a mug and filled the mug.

"Hey, Blaine."

Blaine turned his head to the counter and saw... oh shit!

His eyes grew wide, still pouring the coffee into the mug while he stared at Kurt, standing there towards him, only the counter between them, smiling and looking right into his eyes. Kurt Hummel. Kurt Hummel just spoke to him, said his name and smiled at him. He talked to him, Blaine Anderson like it was something he always did. And Blaine? He didn't say anything because his mind was blank and his body unable to move.


	3. Date

 

Part 3. Date

 

Never... not in a million years Blaine had thought this would actually happen. That Kurt Hummel would stand right in front of him, smiling and talking to him. He never was so close to him, could see him so clearly, seeing just how beautiful, how perfect he was for him. Blue/green eyes, pale flawless skin, beautiful pink lips, perfect styled brown hair – since when did he notice so many details? Blaine was immobile, kept on staring and then when Kurt cleared his throat and pointed to the mug Blaine was holding he slowly came back to reality.

“Um..”

“Oh no!” Blaine exclaimed and saw the mess he made. The mug was full, too full and the coffeepot almost empty and everything poured down on his shoes, on the floor and left was a brown huge puddle of coffee. Oh my god! This was embarrassing, this was embarrassment at it's finest. And of course it happened to him, of course only a Blaine Anderson could make such an embarrassment out of himself. It got even worse. When Blaine put the mug and the coffeepot down and wanted to run to the backroom for a mop to clean his mess, he just slipped and fell on his butt, right into the hot puddle of coffee. This wasn't happening, this wasn't fucking happening!

“Oh my god,” he breathed and felt his face burning, his glasses became steamy and he wished he could just disappear.

“Blaine, are you alright?” Kurt asked, leaning over the counter and looking down at him.

“Yeah.. yeah, just... go,” he stuttered but Kurt didn't go. No, it was like a plot twist for Blaine as he saw Kurt walking around the counter, behind to counter and helped him up. His glasses slid down his nose, his eyes grew wide and he held his breath while he felt Kurt's hands on his arm. Kurt Hummel was touching him! Blaine got help from Kurt Hummel! And he was about to pass out.

“Blaine?”

His voice was so close, such a beautiful sound and it sent a shiver down his spine. He said his name, right into his ear and what did Blaine? He nodded awkwardly and walked to the backroom. There he fell on his knees, grabbing a chair and finally breathing. His pants were wet, his ass was wet, he felt the sweat on his skin and groaned. This was officially the worst day in the life of Blaine Anderson. He made the biggest joke of himself, right before Kurt's eyes and there was no way he would go out there again. Not when Kurt was around.

Blaine had no idea where the strength came from but he slowly stood up and took his bag and of course! Of course he had no pants with him. Why should he? It wasn't like he would get a slushy in his face. This was not McKinley, this was the Lima Bean. However he also couldn't work with a damp mark on his ass. It looked like he just wet himself and he already made himself a joke. Yep, this was the worst day in his life. Even the day, when he ran into his school and still wore his Star Wars pajama, wasn't this embarrassing.

He sighed, put his bag back on the chair and cleaned his glasses. Running away was no option unless he wanted to lose his job. And that was definitely not an option. With the mop in one hand he turned around, facing the door and peeked slowly outside. There was no Kurt, no new customers, only the old lady reading a magazine. Good, this was good. Exhaling and calming down he went outside, took the second coffeepot and filled a second mug, walking fast to the old lady and back behind the counter so no one could see his damp pants. Quickly Blaine grasped the mop before one of his co-workers came back and began to clean the floor. He really didn't want to be responsible for any other accident because the floor was wet and slippery. God, just three more hours until he could drive back home and change his clothes. Three more hours he had to deal with this discomfort and then...

“Here.”

He stopped moving the mop, looked up as he heard the familiar voice again and saw a pair of... dark pants? Gulping his eyes moved further up until he saw this beautiful face again, this beautiful smile and like before, his mind went blank.

“I bet it's pretty uncomfortable, working with wet pants. And I think they'll fit you.”

Those... those were Kurt's pants. Kurt Hummel's pants. The pants that made him look so incredible sexy. And he gave them to Blaine because he fell in a puddle of coffee.

“I... uh... thanks,” he mumbled and took the pants from Kurt.

“You're welcome.”

Uh, woah, that smile was different. Warmer, happier.

“Can we talk later? I mean, when you are done with work?”

“I... I still have to work for three hours.”

“I can wait.”

Uh... okay? Blaine eyed the pants for a while, thinking about his words until last night crossed his mind and the things he was texting to Kurt. No, this was probably part of a plan? Maybe the pants had holes? Or something else that could be embarrassing for Blaine?

“You don't... Kurt,” he took a deep breath: “It's... it's not necessary. I know you don't want to... hang out with me.”

Kurt moved his had to the side and looked at Blaine quizzically.

“Okay,” he finally said and Blaine was ready to hear the truth, ready to be rejected, although it hurt because, yeah, he had hope. Hope he didn't even realize was there.

“I'll proof it to you!”

“Wh... what?”

He jerked his head up, staring at Kurt like he didn't understand what he was saying and, frankly, the first passing seconds he really didn't understand what Kurt just said.

“I'll be here, everyday you work I'll be here until you believe me that my intentions are honest and clean.”

But Blaine didn't answer. He didn't even nod. His eyes were focused on Kurt while his mind yelled at him: Is this the real life?

 

* * *

 

Kurt didn't lie. Everyday he really came to the Lima Bean when Blaine was working. It turned into some kind of routine. The first week they didn't talk. Kurt only ordered something – mainly his nonfat mocha – and sat there for hours, watching Blaine or reading Vogue. Yet, Blaine wasn't convinced he really meant it what he said to him. The second week began with a good morning text by Kurt, seeing him at the Lima Bean and a good night text before he went to sleep. This was all new and strange at the same time and it felt good, so good that Blaine really had a hard time to keep his self protection. Everyone could wear a mask and pretend to be someone or want something. That's why he still thought that Kurt was interested in him was something absolutely impossible.

 

Then there was the third week. Blaine still got his good morning text but this time, during his work at the Lima Bean Kurt changed his behavior. He ordered his coffee, went to his place and wrote something down on a piece of paper. Then he left and Blaine watched him go with raised eyebrows. Usually he was sitting here for hours but not the third week. Okay, maybe he was right and Kurt gave up on playing this game? Biting his lower lip he gazed at Kurt's place and saw a piece of paper under the cup. Huh? Without a second thought he hurried to the table and picked the cup up and unfolded the paper.

 

_I like reading Vogue and I like fashion. And I really like your bow ties._

 

Blaine blushed faintly.

 

_I also like musicals and movies. Do you like Disney? I love it._

 

Blaine blushed even more.

 

_And I like your curls. They make you look adorable._

Blaine thought he would pass out because his head was burning.

 

Day 2 Tuesday

 

Again Kurt left after he finished his coffee and again there was a piece of paper with a message for Blaine. Three sentences like yesterday.

 

_I enjoy watching trash TV. Like really bad shows. Just to relax and see my life isn't that bad._

 

_If you wonder I'm indeed gay. My friends know it but I never made a big deal of it._

 

_Actually does it matter? I think if you like someone you just... like someone._

 

Blaine pressed his lips together to keep the squeal inside his mouth he was about to let out. Not that Blaine really had a doubt about that – because who asked another guy out if he wasn't gay himself? Unless he was joking and, damn, he still wasn't sure if Kurt was honest or not.

 

Day 3 Wednesday

 

_You have really nice eyes. They are like gold or honey. I never saw someone with eyes like yours before._

 

_I like to sing, you know? I thought about joining the Glee club next year._

 

_Football is not really my thing or being a cheerio._

 

Day 4 Thursday

 

_I dreamed about you. We were watching Mulan together. It was fun._

 

_I bet your laugh is cute. I really want to hear you laugh._

 

_Maybe one day I can make you laugh._

 

Day 5 Friday

 

_Weekend! I really like weekends when I'm not invited to some parties._

 

_I mean they are all my 'friends' but still. I prefer a movie night._

 

_Want to go out tomorrow? Watching a movie?_

 

_Do you believe me now?_

 

He stared at the written words for a while and although it was clear for him he still tried to find something that told him not to agree on this. It was just so hard for him to believe that Kurt wanted to go out with him, that he meant all those compliments, that he really, really wanted to know Blaine. It was such an impossibility that Blaine Anderson would finally get what he wanted for more than two years now. Or at least a little bit of what he wanted. It was just that... he lived in his world and Kurt in his own. Those were two different worlds but... those messages told him they had more in common than he knew. Well, he never knew Kurt Hummel, only popular Kurt Hummel. Sighing he looked up to the entrance, saw Kurt standing there, his hands in his pockets and smiling. God, was he waiting? For... an answer? He hesitated but then took his pen, hurried to the counter and took an empty cup to write something down. His heart, his poor heart was beating way to fast as he turned around and went outside looking at Kurt and giving him the cup.

 

_What time?_

 

Kurt actually squealed. He just had squealed and gave Blaine a wide beautiful smile.

“Afternoon? Five o'clock?”

“Uh.. okay.”

And with this huge smile he left the Lima Bean and Blaine breathless.

 

* * *

 

Blaine Anderson never made a big deal about what he was wearing or how he looked like. Not really. He made sure he looked presentable and felt comfortable. He didn't care what others thought about his bow ties or his suspenders or his Batman t-shirts or something like that. He liked it so he wore it. But this time everything was different. This time he would meet with Kurt, with the guy he loved for two years and had a date with him. A date. A real date. A date like going out together, only the two of them, watching a movie and talking about it after the movie was over. A date that could include hand holding – god hand holding!? Blaine groaned. A date that maybe would end up walking through a park and hand holding. A date that maybe would end with a... good night kiss?

Blaine threw himself on his bed, clutching his pillow and shaking his head. Kiss!? Did he want to kiss him? He never kissed someone before! Never in the past seventeen years had Blaine Anderson kissed someone he really liked. In the past weeks he really thought he would pass out but he was sure, if this ever happened he would definitely pass out. Like how did even you kiss a person? Only lips pressing on lips? Or more? Like how did it feel like anyway? This made Blaine even more nervous. What was wrong with him? Hand holding and kisses were flooding his mind which was usually filled with the idea of Kurt or school stuff and his hobbies. And now?

Blaine Anderson had it bad. Like really bad.

 

After an hour of thinking, trying not find an excuse to stay home he eventually left his home and drove to the theater. Talking about his clothes he decided to be himself. A nice white polo shirt, a dark red bow tie and dark red pants. He kept his curls – because Kurt said he liked them – , cleaned his glasses and was waiting for Kurt. Yeah, well it was not Kurt's fault that he was 20 minutes too soon. Which was a bad idea because he still had the chance to just go and never find out if Kurt would come or not. But he came and this... breathtaking. He wore tight dark pants, nice boots and a purple shirt and everything made him look just... ugh. Blaine had no words to describe just what it was doing to him seeing Kurt.

“Hey! I hope I didn't make you wait.”

Blaine shook his head not trusting his voice.

“Thanks for coming.”

“No..”, he breathed: “Thank you.” Because he really doubted this would happen. He really thought he would come here alone, stand alone and go alone back home. But Kurt showed him how wrong he was.

“Okay... then, let's go?” With a nod Blaine followed him into the theater – Kurt insisted on paying their tickets – and to his surprise it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. It was pretty nice to just sit there with him and watch Monster University. A Disney movie, with Kurt and it was just nice. They laughed together, shared their popcorn just like two friends. Nothing more and nothing less and Blaine really, really enjoyed each second of it. It was like a dream just came true. A wonderful long dream he dreamed about for years now and yes, he dreamed about those things.

After the movie they went down the street, laughing about their favorite parts, talking about the sad parts and like, woah, they really came along and shared the same thoughts and opinions and Blaine didn't blush. Not for one second. But then, as he looked down the street and saw Puck and Santana together he stood still and all the good things he felt faded. Being in the theater, walking with the crowd there was no one he knew or Kurt knew so he didn't have to explain anything or face some embarrassing situations. Just now... now he was nervous, unsure and scared. Scared that this was part of a plan, that Kurt called them to meet with him and laugh about Blaine. So he did what cross his mind first. He ran to a sidewalk, hiding himself in the shadows although it wasn't this dark because it was still summer. While he heard Kurt greeting Puck and Santana and they asked him if he want to join them for a drink he said, no thank you, talked a bit more and then they left. The whole time Blaine made himself small, not making any sound, not even risking a glance at their faces and waited, and waited and then he heard steps until Kurt was looking down at him.

“Blaine? What happened?”

With his big eyes he looked through his glasses up to Kurt and chewed on his lips. oh... maybe he was wrong.

“Did they scare you?” he asked as he hunkered down so they were on the same height.

“Not... really. I just... I thought it was... part of your plan.”

“Plan?” surprised Kurt looked at him and then his face softened and he shook his head: “You still think I'm making fun of you? That I'm not serious?”

Blaine made no sound, no move. His eyes were focused on the ground because he felt so bad for thinking this and even telling Kurt that he still thought this way. But who could blame him for thinking this way and keep his self protection. No matter what, it was still so unreal for him, like he would wake up any minute and realize just what nice dream this was.

“I... I thought that maybe you... you don't want to see your friends that you hang out with me.”

Oh, yes, this was also something that bothered him. Even if Kurt was honest, would he want other people to see him walking beside Kurt? Maybe he wanted to know Blaine and be maybe something more but not really... like... like this public? Like all this stuff you did when you are dating someone? God... were they even dating now or just... hanging out?

“Blaine... Blaine! Calm down.”

“Huh?” he exhaled and felt the cold sweat on his forehead and how fast he was breathing.

“You look like you could pass out any minute.”

“I'm sorry,” he answered and slowly his body relaxed and his breath went even.

Oh, this wasn't how he planned things tonight. All he wanted to do was go out with Kurt and watch a movie and laugh and just enjoys each second of it. It should have been just a normal evening between two friends and not a meeting that end up with Blaine being in the hospital because he had a mental break down.

“I'm honest, Blaine. I really meant what I said.”

If he just wouldn't smile that way he did and be so convincing Blaine would just keep his doubts and stop this right here and now. However, he couldn't and he didn't see it in Kurt's eyes. No hint of a lie, nothing that looked like he was making a joke. There was only pure honesty.

“Come on,” he said and held his hand out for Blaine and Blaine only stared at it like it was the first time he ever saw a hand. Huh? Did this mean that... he didn't mind? Not at all? He wasn't embarrassed with Blaine being around him or even uncomfortable? Like he... he really didn't care about what people thought when they saw the popular, loved by everyone Kurt Hummel hanging out with the shadow of the school which most people didn't even know what his name was?

“I promise, I'm not playing with you and I don't care what the others say. I really want to be your friend or... more.”

More? More!? Blaine reached out for his hand like he tried to say, yes I want more too! So much more but he said nothing, just squeezed Kurt's hand with wide eyes and wow – this felt nice, his skin felt nice. Blaine Anderson was holding Kurt Hummels hand and he wasn't planning on letting it go. Kurt helped him up, fixing Blaine's bow tie when he stood on his feet and, actually, Blaine thought Kurt would let go of his hand but... he didn't. He just held it, warm, safe and Blaine's eyes were focused on their holding hands like he couldn't believe it. He really couldn't believe it.

“Is this okay?”

Unsure about what this meant or... what he wished it would mean he nodded and felt his cheeks burning. God, hopefully Kurt wouldn't see the blush, Blaine really didn't want to blush right now.

“It's okay,” Blaine mumbled and they both went back on the street, walking down the road to their cars and never stopped holding hands.

 

 


	4. First

 

Part 4. First

 

Hand holding... for the first time in his life Blaine held the hand of a person he liked. A person he actually loved and that person wanted to hold his hand too. It was just simple hand holding but it meant the world to Blaine. They walked back to their cars, talking about the movie, or Kurt talked while Blaine tried to get used to this feeling and he did. Oh how he got used to it. After that nothing else happened, just a simple, thank you it was great followed by a good night and then he literally swooned back into his house, into his room and grinned from ear to ear as he fell down on his bed. He really tried to shove all his doubts out of his mind. Each single doubt that Kurt was playing with him because, damn, it felt right and good. Yet it wasn't that easy for him to do that. People said that when you are in love you are basically blind for a while and don't see what is really going on and, god, how he wished he could tell his friends about that but... what should he say? What were they anyway? Kurt didn't say they were together or anything close to that and he knew how much his friends loved gossip and he really, really didn't want to be part of their gossip. Rachel would probably ask Kurt out and annoy the hell out of him and he really didn't want to lose Kurt because of her. Moreover, who knows how this would end, if they would even meet again? Just because today was fine didn't mean tomorrow would be fine. The next three weeks he would still be working at the Lima Bean, then he usually spent some time with his parents and when they left for their California trip he would start to study, well re-read all the stuff from the last year.

But now things took a very nice turn and Blaine really wanted to take this chance. Oh and how he wanted and how much it scared him. Even if Kurt said he wasn't playing with him didn't mean that Blaine began to trust him. But he wanted to, he really wanted to. Sighing he rolled on his back and stared at his ceiling. Okay, he was now no longer afraid to be around Kurt or talk with him. It was nice and calming and the only thing he really enjoyed apart from his hobbies. Now it was probably time to get to know Kurt better and show Kurt who he was. But there were more questions. Since when did Kurt notice him or wanted to go out with him? And why did he never talk to Blaine at school? Or acted he just on an impulse because he saw Blaine at the Lima Bean. Uh? Blaine felt panic rising inside his body. What if Kurt only noticed him because he was working at the Lima Bean and when they were back at school he would just see how boring and not special he was? He pressed his hands against his belly and felt sick. He wanted to be someone special. Someone special enough that Kurt would be proud of him and show the world how proud he was of Blaine. Someone as popular and nice and good looking as Kurt needed to have a partner close to his status at school. With a deep sigh Blaine stood up, walked to his mirror and stared at his reflection. He liked himself, he liked his curls, his glasses, he even liked his height and his tummy but did Kurt like that? The notes Kurt wrote for him in the past weeks where all stuck around his mirror so that he could read them each morning.

_I like reading Vogue and I like fashion. And I really like your bow ties._

Blaine never read Vogue and he really had no idea about fashion but Kurt liked his bow ties so it was more than okay to keep them.

_ I also like musicals and movies. Do you like Disney? I love it. _

This was something they could talk about for hours. He loved movies and serioes, he loved Disney and maybe they could watch some movies together. Maybe here in his room? Uh... he blushed so hard thinking they could be here alone and enjoy a movie and sitting close and... Blaine shook his head.

_ And I like your curls. They make you look adorable.  _

And Kurt liked his curls. He thought Blaine looked adorable with them. Adorable, no one ever called him adorable or said he liked his curls. This was new, so new but it felt good. Almost like he was flying on clouds.

_ I enjoy watching trash TV. Like really bad shows. Just to relax and see my life isn't that bad. _

_ If you wonder I'm indeed gay. My friends know it but I never made a big deal of it. _

_ Actually does it matter? I think if you like someone you just... like someone. _

Like someone. Blaine didn't ask Kurt that but... it meant that he liked him, right? And he was interested in guys too, so... it made sense that he liked him, right?

_ You have really nice eyes. They are like gold or honey. I never saw someone with eyes like yours before. _

_ Compliments, so many compliments. So many feelings ran through his body because this was the boy he loved for so long calling him adorable and thinking his eyes are nice. Maybe they would even look better without his glasses? He once tried to wear contact lenses but his eyes were so sensitive or he wasn't just used to it. So he gave it up quickly and decided to wear the glasses.  _

_ I like to sing, you know? I thought about joining the Glee club next year. _

_ Football is not really my thing or being a cheerio.  _

Kurt played football and he was cheerio but both only for a year. Actually Blaine was convinced that he joined the teams to become popular but why would someone quit something that gave him the attention and admiration from others. Yeah, because it didn't make him happy and he was actually glad about that. Football and cheerios weren't his thing and the people there.

_ I dreamed about you. We were watching Mulan together. It was fun. _

_ I bet your laugh is cute. I really want to hear you laugh. _

_ Maybe one day I can make you laugh. _

Didn't he laugh much? He did but probably not in front of other people. He remembered how many times he laughed at a Disney movie, when Sebastian and Louis were fighting in the kitchen when he watched the little mermaid for the first time. Or how many times he laughed about Supernatural or in the Harry Potter books and movies. He laughed a lot but only... when he was alone. Was his laugh something that sounded good? Or maybe he had a disgusting laugh? Annoying laugh? Maybe he laughed to hard or too loud? God... he would never laugh when Kurt was around because he might not like it although he thought his laugh would be cute. Cute... Blaine blushed.

_ Weekend! I really like weekends when I'm not invited to some parties. _

_ I mean they are all my 'friends' but still. I prefer a movie night. _

_ This was something that surprised Blaine. He always thought that the popular kids at his school enjoyed those parties. He knew they were drinking, dancing, the gossip was like the best part of it beside all the make outs that happened there. Not Blaine's world, not at all. And obviously Kurt's either.  _

_ Want to go out tomorrow? Watching a movie? _

_ Do you believe me now? _

_ He wished he could believe him like really believe him. But he needed more time and see how things turned out. If Kurt didn't want to wait then it wasn't honest from his side what he did. And this would really break his heart. No, he told himself, don't think that. Blaine took a deep breath, looked back at his reflection and eyed his curls, his body and then his eyes. Kurt liked his eyes but... did he like his glasses? What if not? Blaine took his glasses off and it was not like he couldn't see anything. If things were close enough he could see them but the distance was harder to see. Especially when he was driving his car. His phone was buzzing on his bed and quickly he went back and picked it up.  _

 

_ **Kurt 10:32pm:** _

_ _Good night, Blaine. xo_ _

_ Yeah, Blaine would definitely try something out.  _

 

* * *

 

_ It was burning, it was strange and it really, really made Blaine uncomfortable. His eyes were slightly read, burning and he blinked the tears away. Oh, this was a really bad idea because he knew he couldn't wear those lenses. Luckily he didn't wear them when he was driving to his work. As he arrived he went to the backroom, took his glasses off and tried to use the contact lenses. But it was hard and each time he came close to his eye he winced. Eventually he made it but now he stood there, working for four hours already and it wasn't getting better. People who asked him was was wrong with his eyes he simply told them it's some allergic reaction he always had in summer. Then they told him to go home sooner because he looked really sick but Blaine shook his head and said he was fine. He was waiting for Kurt.  _

_ After five hours Kurt still wasn't there and his lenses made it pretty hard to see anything. He wanted to show Kurt himself without his glasses but now his eyes were just read and hurt and it made it hard to work. He couldn't see anything and as he wanted to put two mugs back into the shelf his hand grabbed them wrong and five mugs fell down and shattered as they hit the floor.  _

_“ Damn,” Blaine hissed and looked down but everything was just blurry and his eyes were burning even more. _

_“ Come on Blaine, take a break,” Amy said – one of his co-workers – and guided him to the tables were he sat down and murmured a thank you to her. God, was there just one day in his life when he wouldn't do something embarrassing? Just one day? He reached for his pocket to pull his glasses out and he knew he had to take the lenses out because it hurt so bad. _

“Blaine? You okay?”

Blaine's body froze when he heard Kurt's voice and his eyes stared at his hands. Oh god, no... not now. Kurt shoved a chair to Blaine so that he was facing Blaine. He couldn't even see his face as he looked up but he heard the sharp inhale from Kurt's mouth.

“What happened?”

“No... nothing. I... it's just... lenses,” he stammered and covered his eyes. Why? Why couldn't he be just a normal human being in front of Kurt? He always did those strange things and didn't even want to do that. He hid himself, he doubted whatever Kurt said and now he only wanted to show Kurt how he looked without his glasses but made himself look like he was crying for hour.

“Come on, we get them out,” Kurt said and placed his hand gently on Blaine's arm. Oh... oh, this was nice, at least one nice feeling since he woke up and without any hesitation he followed Kurt to the restroom.

“Can you do that on your own? Or should I help you?”

“No... it's fine,” Blaine said and bent over the sink and turned on the faucet. Carefully he washed the lenses out and the water felt so good on his eyes that he couldn't stop the deep sigh falling from his mouth. Hissing he managed to get the first lens out of his eye and then he felt something else, something warm on his back. A hand, Kurt's hand was running soothing circles over his back and Blaine almost forgot what he was doing here because this was nice. Like really nice. The second lens was gone and Blaine washed his face, relaxing and blinking until his eyes felt a better. Never ever would he use lenses again. Never. He knew exactly why he didn't use them and now he saw it in the mirror. Red eyes, completely exhausted face and Kurt was right behind him.

“Better?” Kurt asked with a smile and Blaine turned around slowly, feeling how Kurt put his glasses back on his nose and he finally could see him. Oh, there was... there was no hint of that Kurt thought this was funny. Actually he looked relieved, happy that... Blaine was okay?

“Why were you wearing lenses anyway? Trying something out?”

“Uh huh..” he mumbled under his breath and blushed: “I... I thought it would... maybe it... I thought you don't like my glasses.”

He looked at him, a bit helpless, hoping he was wrong because he really never ever wanted to use those lenses again. It burned, it hurt and he felt super uncomfortable with those. But he wanted Kurt to like him more than anything right now. And this meant for Blaine to be equal with Kurt and his qualities. He needed to be cooler, right? Not necessary popular but at least less a nerd.

“Blaine,” Kurt smiled and took his hand, squeezing it gently and running his thumb over Blaine's skin. Uh, he had to fight the urge to just wrap his arms around Kurt's body and hold him close.

“I don't care if you wear glasses or not. I like you for who you are with or without glasses.”

“But... you don't know me,” okay... deep breath. Blaine tried to not just grin like an idiot or jump around like he'd won one million dollars.

“Not much, that's true but I want to and I hope you too.”

“Ofcourseiwantto,” he blabbered and Kurt chuckled not in a hurting way.

“So, what do you think about I'll come and visit you this weekend? I would invite you to my place but my dad has some friends there watching football with them.”

“No... it's fine. Great. Cool, I.. I really would like that.”

When would he ever be able to form proper sentences in front of Kurt? However, right now this didn't really matter. What mattered was that Kurt Hummel would come to his place, to Blaine's room, this weekend, this Saturday and they would be... alone. Like really alone, like they would sit on his bed and talk – talk!? Oh god – and he would see all the things Blaine had and loved all the... nerd thinks like people called it. Oh God, suddenly this idea seemed to be a very bad idea.

 

* * *

 

His mom was on fire. When he told her that a boy would visit him this weekend she basically turned into a fangirl he knew from tumblr. She babbled incoherent stuff, ran around the house and made some crazy plans what she wanted to cook. Then she squeezed his cheeks, held him close and basically cried how happy she was for Blaine and how excited she was to meet his first boyfriend. She was completely insane and Blaine never saw his mother like that. And his father was the same. He eyes his wife that evening with a frown and tried to calm her down but she said he wouldn't understand how important this is for her. She wanted to make everything right so that Kurt would like to come back because they welcomed him and he felt comfortable around us. He told her that he wasn't his boyfriend and that they only wanted to watch some movies together and nothing more but she simply ignored his words and lived in her fantasy. Luckily his father gave him what Blaine needed. Encouragement and, like each dad, he said he didn't want any funny business to happen although they would go out for dinner on Saturday evening. And he wanted to meet Kurt before they left. This was like... really introducing his boyfriend to his parents but it wasn't real.

 

Saturday came quickly. Almost too fast and Blaine woke up too early. He was rolling around his bed, trying to get some more sleep but it was useless. So he stood up and cleaned his room, three times that day while his mom made him even more nervous. She went to his closet, pulled out some polo shirts, pants, bow ties and tried to convince him to wear something she thought was cute. Blaine didn't want to be cute. He wanted to be himself, like Kurt said. He liked him for who he was and he wanted to be himself. Eventually his mother gave up on forcing him to wear something and was baking and cooking, all day long. She made cookies, a cake and talked about roast and fish and Blaine tried to stop her, explain that he and Kurt would order some pizza or something but she was really going crazy. At some point his dad calmed her down and she stayed with the cookies and cake. She left them on Blaine's desk and then the most embarrassing thing happened.

“Do you need anything else, darling? Lube? Condoms?”

“Mom!” Blaine shrieked and covered his face with his hands. This wasn't happening. This just wasn't happening and his dad stood right beside her in the kitchen, choking on his coffee.

“Oh my god!” Blaine groaned and smacked his forehead against the table.

“Honey, I just want you to be safe,” she answered totally calm.

“I think Blaine can take care of himself,” said his dad and wiped his mouth dry.

“I know he can. He is smart and he knows what is right and wrong. But I'm his mom I just want to take care of him. And if it means to buy him something so he can have safe-”

“Mom! Please, stop!”

Blaine's face was burning and he wished they would just go and never meet Kurt. His mother being so excited was probably the worst thing as a first expression and maybe it would scare Kurt away. Yeah, well he heard the doorbell and felt even worse.

“Oh my god! He is here!” she whispered and tugged on her husbands arm.

“Mom, please just... act normal.” Yeah, there was literally no other way to say it. Blaine jumped off his chair, shoved his glasses back up his nose and went through the corridor to open the door. There he was, wearing a nice gray shirt and dark pants and looking good as always.

“He... hey, you found it,” Blaine breathed.

“Yeah, it's actually pretty close.”

Blaine took a step back, letting Kurt inside who just looked around and smiled with wide eyes, amazed by their huge house. Well, a bit too big for just two people.

“It's beautiful here and this is for your mom and for your dad.”

Blaine didn't notice the bouquet and the bottle of whiskey before. He was too distracted by Kurt's face and how he looked like.

“That's nice... um... Mom? Dad?”

First his dad came out of the kitchen followed by his mother who tried to act normal and not just run to Kurt and scare him away because she knew what it meant for Blaine. His dad was his usual self, being a gentleman and showing how tall and behaved he was. Many people called his dad handsome and nice although they both had a hard time when Blaine came out. With a polite smile Kurt walked up to them and shook their hands, first his father than his mother.

“Nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Anderson. I'm Kurt Hummel.”

“It's nice to meet you Kurt” his mother tried, she really tried not to sound like a little girl but her eyes betrayed here, huge, amber and sparkling.

“This is for you guys, just a little thank you for having me here.” Blaine watched them as Kurt gave his mother the bouquet and his dad the whiskey – his dad made a small nod and an surprised expression which was good.

“Thank you, they are beautiful, right James?”

Of course his father was more interested in the whiskey and Kurt: “Yes, darling, they are. Thank you Kurt and make yourself comfortable here.”

Blaine walked back to them and gave Kurt short glance who winked back at him as if he tried to tell him things were just fine.

“He is really handsome, right James?”

Of course she couldn't help herself and say something like that.

“Mom!” Blaine hissed and Kurt laughed quietly while Blaine's dad patted his wife's arm.

“Thank you Mrs. Anderson.”

“Good we leave you two alone now. See you later guys.”

Blaine was so thankful for his dad. They still had an hour before they had to go but he saw how much it made Blaine nervous and also how hard it was for his mom to not freak out. They took the keys and left the house right into the fresh summer evening.

“I'm sorry,” he sighed and looked at Kurt who just smiled back.

“They are nice, don't worry.”

Don't worry, yeah, Blaine wished he wouldn't worry this much but he did because this meant so much for him that he feared he would screw everything up with Kurt.

“So... my room is that way,” Blaine pointed out to the stairs and Kurt followed him. With sweaty hands he opened the door and they both walked inside. He looked around, quickly just to make sure everything was at his place and it was – of course it was he cleaned his room three times that day. He closed the door as Kurt walked inside and kept on watching him when he looked to the left, eying his closet, turned to the right looking at the photos on the wall, his bed and on the other side where his desk and bookshelf. On the right side from the door was his TV and another shelf with his DVD collection. Nervously he walked to his bed and sat down pulling his phone out and heard Kurt saying: “Wow, your Disney collection is impressive. Well your whole collection is impressive.”

“Thanks...” he murmured and put his phone down as he found the number for the delivery service.

“I had no idea you liked Star Wars. I watched it once and it was fun but I never got the chance to see it again. People always want you around when you are popular.”

People Blaine didn't really like that is.

“Wow! You even have all the Harry Potter books. Are they good?”

“You-” he turned around to look at Kurt with wide eyes: “You never read Harry Potter?”

With a smile he shook his head and Blaine stood up and pulled the first book out of his bookshelf. I shoved it right into Kurt's hands and began to blabber: “It's amazing. It truly is! The beginning might be a bit boring people say but when you keep on reading I promise you won't stop. It's such an amazing story about friendship and being brave and loss. And the wizard world is just so... I... I'm blabbering...”

He stopped when he saw Kurt's wide eyes and the huge grin on his face. Heat crawled up Blaine's face and he ducked his head.

“It's fine. Really. It must be good if you love it so much.”

Oh yes, he really loved Harry Potter, but he loved Kurt even more than anything. His friends would say it was stupid to feel so much for a person without knowing the person. Yet he couldn't help himself but feel that way.

“Let's order the pizza and then we can watch the first Harry Potter movie? So I get an idea what it is about?”

“S... sure.”

They called the pizza service, ordered a huge pizza with cheese and bacon – Blaine never thought Kurt would eat something like that judging by his body – and settled down on his bed while America's got talented played in the background.

“Can I ask you something?” Blaine asked while he flipped through his first Potter book and Kurt watched him doing that.

“Anything.”

He closed the book, shoved his glasses back up and looked at Kurt: “You wrote on one of those notes that you prefer movie nights instead of parties. And... I... I was just wondering why.”

Kurt traced his finger along his beautiful lips and Blaine couldn't stop staring at those. They were pink, making his mouth look so kissable and beautiful he really wanted to know what it felt like to kiss those lips. Aside from the fact that he had no idea how it felt like to kiss someone but he wanted to know it and he wanted Kurt to be his first kiss.

“It's exhausting, you know? And not really my world. They drink and dance and stuff, but the conversations we have there are not really... qualitative. All they do is spreading gossip and bitching about someone. I prefer to be around smart people.”

Oh, Blaine was smart. He was really smart, he had good grades and he was basically Wikipedia addicted.

“And... it's not like I decided to become popular. I didn't even want to be popular. It just kind of happened.”

“Everyone likes you at school. Girls, boys, teachers.”

“Yeah. There are some benefits but it also eats my free time. I promise you if I had the time I would have read all these Potter books.”

“They are really amazing.”

Kurt smiled again, so warm and sweet and said: “Everything here is amazing.”

And Blaine thanked god that the doorbell rang because he saw Kurt's hand moving to his, he felt how his body became hot and too heave to sit straight. He jumped from the bed and stumbled out of his room, feeling light headed. He really thought Kurt would freak out, not like one of his things but he did. He said it's amazing. Everything there is.... everything? Blaine stood still right in front of the front door and stared at the wide wood. Did that mean that he was amazing too? Eventually Kurt wanted to reach out for his hand, right? And he looked at him like he tried to say just that?

The doorbell rang again and Blaine opened the door.

 

He came back to his room with the huge pizza and Kurt eying his mirror. Oh no! He forgot to take those notes off! God, act like you saw nothing, act like you don't care he told himself and placed the pizza in the pizza box on his bed.

“You have a marvelous collection of bow ties. It's a shame the guys I know don't wear bow ties.”

“Yeah, well... they say nerds do that. Who wants to be one, though,” Blaine said as he put the DVD in and climbed back on his bed. Kurt came also back, sitting next to Blaine as he turned his night lamp on and leaned against the headboard, the pizza between them. He pressed 'play movie' and just breathed. He was a nerd, or at least people thought he was one and if it meant that he could love all these things he loved then Blaine was fine with that. No one had to like the same things he did.

“I don't think you are a nerd, Blaine.”

Uh? Slowly he turned his head to look at Kurt's face, again there was this lovely smile he could watch at for hours: “You are you and that is perfectly fine.” And if Kurt liked who he was he wanted even more just to be who he was.

 

They ate their pizza, sitting together in a comfortable silence while the movie played and from time to time Kurt would ask him something he didn't get at first and Blaine would answer it. They would laugh together, Kurt would react surprised or confused at parts Blaine knew why they happened and it gave him such a warm feeling that Kurt actually liked what he saw there. It was almost like in the theater but this time it was them really alone and enjoying something Blaine loved like a lot. An hour later, when the pizza was eaten up and both leaned back against the headboard, full and happy and they were at the point when Harry and his friends sat together in the great hall right before the Troll scene he felt something at his hand. Blaine looked down, seeing Kurt's hand, his finger wandering between his and placing their entwined fingers between them like... like it was something they always did. He stopped breathing, staring at his hand which was held by Kurt's and did nothing, just staring, not squeezing back or anything. He couldn't react even if he wanted to. This was just so nice, so warm it made his whole body feel this huge warm wave of emotions, almost too much to handle.

“Is this okay?”

Blaine swallowed: “Uh huh,” he breathed and then reacted to Kurt's hand, squeezing it lightly and just holding it. There was no way he could follow the movie – and it didn't even matter because he knew the movie anyway – his mind only focused on the warm feeling of Kurt's hand, how his thumb ran gently over his skin, how he squeezed it from time to time as if he tried to calm Blaine down and at some point Blaine did the same. Caressing his skin with his thumb, feeling the wave of emotions running through his body, to his heart, making it hard to breath – he was sure Kurt could see his chest trembling judging by how hard his heart was beating. Did this mean something? Where they now... boyfriends? Or just two friends enjoying to hold the others hand? How did this 'I'm your boyfriend' thing happen anyway? Should he ask Kurt if he wanted to be his boyfriend? Or first what it meant that he took his hand and wanted to hold his hand? All this thinking made him tired and at some point Blaine fell into a light sleep, still hearing what was happening but not reacting.

“Blaine?”

He slowly opened his eyes and... he blinked because everything was so blurry.

“You fell asleep,” he heard a voice speaking but it wasn't his mother it was... oh. His eyes shoot open and Kurt was kneeling beside him still holding his hand. He fell asleep, yes – his eyes moved to the TV but it was turned off – they were watching Harry Potter.

“M'sorry. It was a long day.”

“It's okay,” Kurt chuckled and Blaine saw his other hand reaching out for his curls, slowly, almost unsure and Blaine just watched his hand, running through his curls and then how much Kurt relaxed when Blaine didn't shove his hand away. Of course not, how could he? Everything that Kurt was doing to him felt just nice. Like a drug he wanted to take over and over again. Those fingers were so fine, so gently running through his hair and those lips, his smile... Kurt was so close he just needed to hold himself up with his free hand and then he could place a kiss on those lips. Yeah, if he had more confidence and knew how to kiss a person he would do that. But he had no idea and he -

“Can I kiss you?”

What? His honey eyes stared into Kurt's, there was blue and green and hope like... hell of course he could do that. But like Blaine was he couldn't say anything so he just nodded and watched Kurt leaning down to him pressing his lips gently against Blaine's. He froze. He just lay there and didn't move at all. He lips were a thin line, feeling just Kurt's skin on his and his eyes were open not able to close them because Kurt was so freaking close he needed to see it. This though didn't feel right and this was not like the kisses he saw in all those movies and series. He just squeezed Kurt's hand almost to strong and then Kurt pulled back and – no! Don't go away.

“Relax, okay?” Kurt whispered soothingly, caressing his cheek with his free hand.

“I'm sorry.”

“First kiss?”

Blaine nodded, staring into Kurt's eyes where he saw no mockery, no disappointment, just warmth, understanding and so much he couldn't even tell what it was, but it felt good.

“Okay, just relax and imagine this is your first kiss. Good?”

He always did this... this encouraging thing. He did it with a smile, with simple words and made him feel so on peace, so safe and like he finally found this place where Blaine never would be afraid to be himself. Even if it was just for now, just for the summer.

“I'm good,” he breathed and Kurt placed their holding hands to his chest and – woah! - Blaine could actually feel how fast Kurt's heart was beating inside his chest. It calmed him down, so much that when Kurt kissed him back it actually felt right. So right he couldn't think of something that ever felt better than this. It was gentle, yet warm and his lips felt even better than Blaine imagined. It was even more than just lips. Kurt's hand was holding his face, his thumb running over his cheek and then he tilted his head so they could share a deeper kiss. No tongue, no, Blaine didn't think he was ready for this, but lips, lips everywhere and heat and... he even had god damn butterflies in his stomach. Eventually – for Blaine too soon – Kurt pulled back and they both laid there, breathless and pressing their foreheads together. Blaine Anderson just got his first kiss! His first kiss by the person he loved for two years now and it still felt like a dream.

“One year,” Kurt breathed, kneeling beside Blaine, still being above him while Blaine ran his fingers over the back of Kurt's head, just to have something to hold on to.

“One year?”

“I dreamed about doing this for a year now.”

Wow, wait! Did this mean that... Kurt already knew who he was before Blaine began to work at the Lima Bean? If he only knew that Kurt felt that way it... it would be like this for a year now.

“Two,” whispered Blaine and opened his eyes as Kurt pulled back a bit.

“I've been wanting this for... two.”

“Oh my god,” Kurt chuckled and let himself fall next to Blaine, facing him: “You could have been my boyfriend for a year now. I had no idea you liked me.”

“I'm... I'm your boyfriend now?” It felt like his heart just stopped beating. This couldn't be real, right?

“You... don't want to?

“I want!” he said way too fast and Kurt laughed quietly, wrapping his arm around Blaine's body and pressing him closer so that he could feel Kurt's chest against his and kissed him again, just a tiny kiss: “Thank you.”

Oh, his mind was so dizzy he didn't really understand that this was real. Kurt Hummel was his boyfriend. Popular Kurt Hummel was the boyfriend of the nerd Blaine Anderson and their two worlds fit perfectly together.

“Can we... kiss again?”

“Of course,” his boyfriend said and Blaine smiled when he just did that.

 

 


	5. Friends

 

Part 5. Friends

 

Blaine was smiling. Smiling like an idiot. He smiled when he went to sleep, when he woke up, took a shower and when he ate breakfast. He smiled even harder when he got his good morning text by Kurt with the xo. But this time it was not one xo it were three.

 

**Kurt Hummel 7:45am:**

_Good morning, gorgeous! See you later! xoxoxo_

 

Oh yes, Blaine was constantly smiling like an idiot. An idiot in love. Blaine Anderson had his first boyfriend and if someone would ask him, he had nothing against it if Kurt would be his last boyfriend. Oh and he also got his first kiss from his first boyfriend and from the person he loved for so long. Yes, Blaine Anderson would have the best summer ever and he was about to text his friends and tell them what happened, that for the first time ever he had luck. But Blaine decided to not do that. He didn't tell his mother about it because, honestly, he was a bit scared of her reaction. She was already freaking out when he told her that Kurt would come over almost like she was ready to adopt him and they weren't even together then. So how would she react when she knew her son had a boyfriend now? No, Blaine wasn't ready for this yet he still needed time to realize this was real, this was his life now. Kurt Hummel was his boyfriend and liked him for who he was. Kurt saw something in him, right? Something was special about him that he wanted to be with him and Blaine wondered what it was and if he would be what Kurt wanted for a long time. God he couldn't even help himself and think about forever because, damn, forever sounded so good in his head. However, Blaine loved to dream about things but he also knew what was possible and what not and being 18 years old and hoping your actual relationship will stay forever was most likely not possible. Uh, he really didn't want that to happen and he didn't want to think about it because it was too early to worry about something like that. There were other things like... for example kissing.

Kissing Kurt was nice, fantastic, the best feeling so far and he really wanted to kiss him more and learn more because he wasn't sure if he did it right. Kurt though seemed to have some experience and maybe Blaine wasn't his first kiss? Ugh, this hurt a bit imagining that someone else got Kurt's first kiss because he wanted to be his first kiss like Kurt was his. Still, there was no way he knew how to kiss without practicing it. Because Kurt knew, he knew it and left Blaine breathless when they decided to kiss some more after the movie.

But Blaine also knew that there were more things he could do with Kurt then kissing. Like, taking a walk hand in hand, planning weekend together and... His cheeks turned beet red when he only thought about that. He... he could sleep with Kurt. His head just slumped down on the desk by the thought. Sex? Having sex with Kurt? Not that Blaine had no idea how it worked – thank God for Queer as Folk and the internet – but actually doing this? He wasn't sure if he was ready for this, he couldn't even deal with what he felt when they were kissing and then... sex?

Uh, no. It was too soon to think about _that_.

 

It was Blaine's last week at the Lima Bean and and so far things went good. Perfect actually. During the week he was working and on the weekend he and Kurt decided to go out instead of staying at home because Blaine still wasn't ready to tell his parents that Kurt was his boyfriend. He wanted to be sure and more comfortable with him before his parents knew that he was his boyfriend. This meant getting comfortable with holding Kurt's hand, with kissing him and just have him close. But Blaine was always nervous all the time. Sometimes when Kurt kissed him he literally froze and stared at him like he needed to see it and realize this was real. Kurt always smiled, laughed a bit and said how adorable he was but he needed to relax. Somehow they ended up doing the same thing each weekend. Both went to a small park, aside from all the people and traffic and spent their time on a blanket close to a tree. Kurt would place his head on Blaine's belly and listen to him while he read Harry Potter to Kurt and it really calmed him down. He got used to _this_ , used to Kurt's hands touching his belly, his hair, kissing his lips or holding his hand, wrapping his arms around Blaine's body when he was reading and just being together. They sat there for hours, Blaine reading to him while Kurt listened and always laughed when something funny happened or hummed just because he liked the sound of Blaine's voice. No one ever told him that they liked his voice and Blaine never cared about that if someone liked it or not. Kurt liked it and that was important.

Oh yeah, Blaine daydreamed a lot about those moments when they just were, or just kissed and it wasn't really helpful when he was working. Sometimes he forgot to write the coffee order down, sometimes he even forgot to make it but he did his best to not be too suspicious. Still all he could think about was the time he could spend with Kurt and it was really the thing he looked forward to the most.

Suddenly the door fell open and a wave of laughing voices dragged Blaine out of his daydream. He looked up, seeing Puck and some other football players walking inside, walking to the counter, to him.

“Hey dude!” he said with a smirk and it wasn't like he didn't like Puck. It was just that he once used to make fun of Blaine, until he ignored him, like Puck's friends and Blaine always felt uncomfortable around them. This would probably never change but they were Kurt's friends and he wanted his friends to like him. But he knew, he would never be as cool as they were. What if they knew about them and tell Kurt to stop being with him together? What if? Just because they were together didn't mean that Kurt would give up his friends – and Blaine would never want that like he would never leave his friends for Kurt. But this... it bothered him so much that they would dislike him and Kurt would just see how boring Blaine was. His mood fell and Blaine sighed trying to ignore the pain inside. He finished the order and Puck and another guy took the cups to their table, still talking, still laughing and Blaine knew they weren't laughing about him but it just felt like that. One quick look at his watch and he almost groaned when he saw that he had still two hours of work. And they went by, too slowly. Right before his shift ended he looked up, hearing the door going open and saw Kurt walking inside, smiling at him.

There would be no public hello kiss – because Blaine didn't feel comfortable enough to do that here with so many people around, jeez he didn't even tell his friends about that – but they never tried to hide their affection for each other in their faces. Well this time Blaine couldn't do it. Not with Puck and his friends – Kurt's friends around. They greeted him from their place and it gave Blaine even more reason to just not show how he felt.

“Hey, Blaine. Almost done?”

Oh yeah, they wanted to go to Blaine's place because his parents were working until evening and Kurt picked him up this morning so they could drive back together.

“Yeah,” he said avoiding Kurt's eyes by turning around and pretending to be busy. He really didn't want his friends to give any reason to hurt him again or whatever they would do if they knew about him and Kurt. Hell, Blaine didn't even know if they knew but if they would, they had already told him so, right? Something like, I don't understand why Kurt is with someone like you, he is far too awesome – or – You are bad for Kurt, he'll end up like you, a no one. No, Blaine didn't want that to happen.

“Everything's okay?” Kurt asked eventually.

“Of course, almost done.”

Blaine still didn't look at him: “Wait outside I'll be there in a minute.”

And luckily Kurt did that. Feeling much less pressure he walked to the back room, took his apron off and left with his bag in one hand, risking one last look at the table with the football players and then outside where Kurt was waiting. He played with his keys and looked up when he saw Blaine, his smile was gone. This... hurt even more. Why wasn't he smiling? Kurt was always smiling when he was around Blaine and now? Kurt turned around and walked to his car and Blaine followed him. They climbed inside, sitting down but Kurt didn't start the engine. He slowly turned around, looking at Blaine and taking his hand gently.

“Did I do something?”

With raised eyebrows Blaine looked at him, completely confused because it wasn't Kurt who did something. How could he think that? And how could Blaine think that Kurt wouldn't notice it that he acted strange some minutes ago. Of course he noticed it because like Kurt never stopped smiling when he was with Blaine, Blaine never ignored him or stopped smiling either.

“No, Kurt.”

“Then, what happened? You never ignored me like this.”

Ouch... that hurt even more.

“I... I wasn't... I didn't want to.”

Blaine began to shake, holding Kurt's hand tighter and looked down at his bag between his legs. Was he about to cry? Because of something like this? He heard people talking about bad times when they were in a relationship but he and Kurt weren't that long together to have those times yet, right? He didn't want those times yet. He wanted to just be with him and happy during his summer break.

“Hey, look at me.” said Kurt and took Blaine's chin between his fingers, so that he would look at him. And he did.

“What happened?”

“Your... your friends were there and I just... I couldn't.”

“You don't want people to know I'm your boyfriend?”

Blaine's eyes grew wide and he shook his head too fast: “No!”

He climbed on the seat, leaning over to Kurt and threw his arms around his neck, hearing him gasp and held him close and maybe too strong: “I want you to be with me and I want people to know!”

God, he couldn't let him go just yet. There were still so many things he wanted to explore with Kurt and do with Kurt and just be with him. Being with him made Blaine feel complete, like he found this special place in his life he was looking for so long. For exactly two years and of course he dreamed what it would be like with him but the reality was so much better. Humming happily Kurt hugged him back and placed a small kiss on Blaine's shoulder, slowly calming down and Blaine pulled back, looking at Kurt and sighed when he saw him smiling.

“Let's drive to your place, okay? And then you tell me what was the reason. Sounds good?”

Blaine nodded.

 

* * *

 

When they arrived at Blaine's place and went inside the first thing they did is kissing. Sweet kisses, careful kisses but they turned out into more. It wasn't like Kurt touched Blaine anywhere below his waistband, but just feeling his hands holing his face, running through his hair, on his shoulders, waist and then how his lips wanted more, how his tongue slipped inside his mouth – and Blaine needed a while to get used to this – he didn't know on what he should focus more because everything felt amazing. It became like a natural thing for them. They walked inside, let their bags slide from their shoulders and Kurt would slide his arms around Blaine's neck and Blaine would hold Kurt's face or wrap his arms around his body and then a sweet kiss followed. The first week it was always Kurt who began to kiss him, then it was Blaine and he became more and more confident to do that. At some point Kurt began to take Blaine's glasses off when they were laying on his bed or Kurt's and their kisses became more sloppy, more passionate and made them both breathless and lightheaded. Kurt was so patient with him that Blaine wondered how he deserved this and how it was no longer a dream to call Kurt his boyfriend. They would sigh happily, whimper and look at each other with dark eyes and flushed cheeks but never do more although sometimes Blaine felt his cock hardening – and sometimes he thought he even saw Kurt's bulge. But he was too shy to say something about that. Kissing was fine. Kissing was awesome and it made his knees weak and sometimes he swallowed the three words he wanted to say, because it felt just too soon.

After kissing in the corridor they went to the kitchen, eating something and then back to Blaine's room sitting down on his bed and Blaine would read to Kurt. They already reached the third Harry Potter book.

“So, are going to tell me what happened?” Kurt asked as he sat down on Blaine's bed and Blaine took the book into his hand which was on his nightstand. Oh, yes, he almost forgot that. Crawling back to Kurt he sat down next to him, running his fingers over the book and took a deep breath.

“There... were your friends. And they used to make fun of me and... I thought maybe you didn't want them to know we are together. Because... I'm not that... cool.”

Suddenly he felt really silly thinking this because wasn't it like he didn't trust Kurt? He trusted Kurt and he felt that Kurt wasn't playing with him. Still they were together for how long? Two weeks? Almost three? Not much but for Blaine it felt so much longer.

“You still have doubts, Blaine?”

“No, that's not the reason. I just... I don't want people to dislike you because of me. Or... what if they don't like me and you'll see how boring I am.”

Oh yes, this was his biggest fear that Kurt would suddenly see just how not special Blaine was, how ordinary he was compared to his boyfriend. He couldn't change who he was or what he liked and he didn't want to because it made him happy who he was and he was comfortable with this. Changing just so Kurt would stay at his side wasn't smart and Blaine never did stupid things. It was just against his own logic and he couldn't help it. But for Kurt... maybe for Kurt he would try it.

“For a smart boy like you are you can say a lot of silly things, you know?”

His honey eyes hesitated as he wanted to look at Kurt and then, when he finally lay his eyes on Kurt's face he saw a smile and a look like he tried to say, really?

“You just don't see how special you are, Blaine. You know all these things and you have all this amazing stuff here. And you have such a huge heart, you can sing and so much more you just don't see it.”

Blaine looked back down, eying the book he held in his hands and nodding slowly. Well, for him it was nothing special, it was just who he was.

“And for me,” Kurt said and Blaine saw from the corner of his eye how he began to shuffle and come closer, placing a kiss on his cheek and wrapping his arms around his neck, so they were cheek to cheek: “all of this, what you like, what you do and who you are. I really like that, Blaine. I like you and I'm happy to be able to call you my boyfriend.”

And Blaine smiled, feeling calm, warm and just... loved, although Kurt never said that. But he felt loved, so much loved like never before. Blaine turned his face so he could kiss the corner of Kurt's mouth and rested his forehead against Kurt's temple.

“I mean it, Blaine. And what do you think if we tell our families and friends about us? I mean not like tomorrow but maybe when you are done with work? You have to work for the rest of the week and then you are free and we'll be together for a month.”

“Okay,” Blaine breathed happily and Kurt smiled at him, proudly and kissed him.

“Good. Now I want to know who this Sirius Black guy is!” Kurt said and they made themselves comfortable on Blaine's bed.

 

* * *

 

Work was done and Blaine actually was happy. He had still had six weeks of his summer break, still enough time to spent the time with Kurt. Oh he would be smiling like a love sick puppy and never stop. But he couldn't because he was about to have his first real break down. Everything began with him telling his parents that he had a boyfriend and that this boyfriend was Kurt. His dad smiled at him, hugged him and told him that he thinks Kurt is a good choice. But his mother... his mother turned into some crazy woman. She went crazy the first time. This time, though, it was really insane.

“See! I told you they become a couple, James! I told you they are perfect for each other! And you said I was only seeing stuff that isn't there!”

His father sighed and Blaine only stared at her like he couldn't believe what was happening to his lovely and lady like mother.

“I need to call your brother! He needs to know this, he'll freak out. Oh! And then we need to clean everything up. Everything! And I'll make dinner! What does he like, Blaine? You know what? Forget it, we go out for dinner together. All four of us! Oh, and maybe you can invite his family too? We could make a family thing out of it!”

“Mom! No!” Blaine had trouble breathing and he was sweating because this was far too much.

“No, you are right! We should get to know him first and then we'll meet his family. Oh god, sweetie! How long, Blaine? Have you two been safe? You know I'll buy you anything you two need if you are too shy for it yet!”

“Oh god!” Blaine groaned and pressed his hand on his face to cover the red color on his cheeks: “This was a horrible idea...”

“What? Are you ashamed of us, sweetie? We want only the best for you.”

“Meredith, calm down honey. You make him uncomfortable.”

She looked at her husband like he made a bad joke about something.

“I'm just helping him. I mean I don't know exactly what two guys do but I want to do the right thing! And it's his first boyfriend and I want it to be perfect! Blaine, sweetie, if you need something just call me, okay? I'm starting to clean the house! James? You take care of the bathrooms!”

And then she literally swirled out of the living room to the kitchen while his dad placed his hand on Blaine's shoulder and squeezed it.

“She'll calm down, Blaine. Don't worry. We are happy for you and really excited to meet him again.”

“I know, but... Mom is going insane and will scare him away.”

“I'll keep an eye on her, don't worry,” he heard his dad saying and looked at him, seeing the smile but he knew, his mother was incalculable when it was about stuff like that.

 

* * *

 

Friday evening and Blaine watched his mother standing beside the dinner table and making sure everything looked just perfect. It was far too much food for just four people but if this made her act like sane woman he was fine with that. Also he was thankful that his father kept her distracted so Blaine could walk outside and wait for Kurt who arrived some minutes later. He climbed out of his car, smiling at Blaine and luckily he had no gift with him, because Blaine didn't want that – he already did that the first time.

“Why are you waiting here?” asked Kurt with curios eyes.

“Just to warn you. My mother is going crazy but she isn't always like that. She is really lovely she is just happy and -”

“Blaine, it's okay.”

Not convinced he opened the door and Kurt followed him, taking his hand as Blaine still didn't calm down but kept on watching his mother with a worried look and shaking body.

“Calm down, Blaine,” Kurt said soothingly and kissed him on his lips, just short but enough to make Blaine forget everything and his body relaxed.

“It will be fine.”

He smiled but then he heard his mother trying not to shriek like a little girl – god she saw them kissing – and he pressed his head against Kurt's arm, who laughed quietly. This would be the longest dinner he ever had with his family, Blaine was sure about that.

While eating Kurt and Blaine's dad were talking about cars – Blaine knew Kurt's dad was a mechanic – and then about school. Blaine's mother was silent but her eyes were screaming with happiness and he saw how hard she tried to not just ask a question after another or act like the fangirl she was before. She knew how much it meant for Blaine, how much Kurt meant for Blaine. And Kurt was great, just amazing. He talked with them like he knew his parents for a long time. He laughed with them and ended up talking with his mother about fashion and didn't even intend to stop. Blaine was just watching him, watching his eyes light up, watching how excited he was about some new shirt together with his mother and at some point Kurt took his hand under the table and squeezed it. Yeah, it definitely wasn't that bad of a dinner. It was fine, like Kurt said it. It was even better because when he thought about how hard it was for him and his parents when he came out and now seeing them how they just accepted Kurt and liked him and were happy for Blaine... it was like paradise. It was like things made finally sense and would turn out good for him. Finally.

 

Later they went to Blaine's room to have some time alone before Kurt would have to go back home. He never stayed over the night, he never fell asleep with Blaine and woke up with him and Blaine wasn't sure if he was ready for that because... those things could lead to something he wasn't ready for, right? And he wanted his parents to know Kurt before he would ever agree on staying at Kurt's over night or Kurt at Blaine's place. When Blaine closed the door he took Kurt's hand and kissed him sweetly on the lips, smiling against them: “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For... everything.”

Kurt took Blaine's glasses off, putting it down on the nightstand and walked to Blaine's bed, dragging Blaine with him and laid down, pulling Blaine gently on top of him began to kiss him. Blaine just didn't mind. Sometimes he ended up on top of Kurt and he was already comfortable with this because when it turned out to be too much he stopped and Kurt never forced him to do more or minded it. This time though I felt different. After seeing him how awesome he was around his parents, how he just accepted them – especially his mother – Blaine felt even more for Kurt. He felt more confidence, more love and wanted to show him this. The slow, gentle kiss became more. Parting his lips he let his tongue out which Kurt accepted with a happy hum. It was always hard for Blaine to let himself just fall into this feeling. Into the kisses, the hugs, everything that he shared with Kurt. But especially kisses were hard for him because he couldn't get enough and couldn't stop. When there was more tongue, more noises, more hands touching his skin, running through his hair like now he tried to ignore his hardening cock and made sure that there was enough space between his crotch and Kurt's. Not this time though. One knee was between Kurt's legs, the other beside him and he felt tried to moved and not touch him with his bulge but he was too much into kissing Kurt and his hands on his back that he simply slumped down on his body and gasped when he felt Kurt's... holy shit. Kurt was half hard, just like Blaine and he felt it against his tight. He was feeling Kurt's cock against his thigh, through their pants. And Kurt was feeling Blaine... he..

“Oh god..” Blaine breathed against Kurt's neck and felt embarrassed but also aroused: “I'm sorry.”

“That you make me feel good?” Kurt whispered and pressed his lips against Blaine's forehead.

“I... do?”

“Obviously,” Kurt smiled and moved his hips and Blaine felt it again and hid his face deeper into Kurt's shoulder. Oh god, no, he wasn't ready for this.

“I won't do anything. Don't worry and don't be ashamed. You make me feel good and I... make you feel good, right?”

Blaine nodded without hesitation because yes, he never felt better around anyone and never wanted someone more than him.

“Good,” said Kurt and rolled them slowly over, so that Blaine was laying next to him and he could see his flushed face and dark eyes and Blaine really didn't feel any shame. Kurt said it was good, it was normal and that they wouldn't do anything. And Blaine made him feel good, he, Blaine Anderson made him feel good, aroused Kurt Hummel and it made him proud? It was crazy but he actually felt proud of himself.

“I'm a virgin, you know,” he heard Kurt saying and Blaine literally froze, staring at Kurt like he couldn't believe it. Well, he really couldn't believe it. Kurt Hummel being a virgin? Kurt who was so comfortable, so popular and probably had more than enough people who wanted to be with him but he chose Blaine was a virgin? Not that it was something bad but... Kurt always seemed so experienced like he actually knew what he was doing.

“You are surprised,” he laughed and took Blaine's hands into his, holding them and kissing his knuckles.

“Yes... I just... you seem so sure about everything and so mature. I thought you already...”

“I wanted you. I was watching you for a year now and I didn't want to sleep with someone that wouldn't mean something, you know.”

He was dreaming, he must be dreaming because this couldn't be real. Who would wait for someone without knowing if it ever worked out? Apparently Kurt and it made Blaine's heart swell with so much love it was hard to handle it. He squeezed his hands, moved closer and kissed him as if he wanted to say thank you.

“So, tomorrow you come to my place and meet my dad and then we'll meet your friends, right?”

“Yes,” oh, he almost forgot about that. Burt Hummel was an amazing dad, Blaine knew it. Kurt told him about his dad, about how his mother died and what he went through with his dad and he was amazed by their relationship and happy for Kurt. And Blaine wasn't scared to meet Burt Hummel, he was just nervous. But meeting his friends and tell them that they were together? This made him really nervous and insecure because they didn't like Kurt. They all thought he must be rude because he was popular. He only told them that he had a boyfriend, but not who was his boyfriend and they were freaking out, bothering him so that Blaine had to turn his phone off for a while. And Kurt saw it in Blaine's face how worried and insecure he was.

“Don't worry, Blaine. You are good to me and I'm good to you. Nothing else matters right now.”

 

* * *

 

If Blaine had a camera he would have filmed this, the faces of Tina, Rachel, Finn and Mercedes. Their eyes went to Kurt and back to Blaine as they met at the Lima Bean and their mouths dropped open not believing who was his boyfriend. This wasn't helpful but exactly how he expected it to be. They just stood there and Kurt greeted them with a smile and shook their hands, saying who he was – although they knew – and the first one who smiled was Tina, then Mercedes, Finn greeted him like an old friend and Rachel... well Rachel eyed him like he was the enemy. She drank her coffee in silence – which was not Rachel Berry like – while Finn asked, completely surprised since when they were together and why Kurt never said something about them. Kurt just laughed and said nothing but Blaine knew, they needed to figure this out first and wanted to be sure and tell their families and friends when it felt right. Then they ended up talking about musicals, songs and Blaine was happy to see how pleasantly surprised Tina and Mercedes were and how easy they accepted Kurt. It felt good, really good and it made Blaine really happy that his friends liked him but Rachel... Rachel just looked at Kurt like she wanted to slap him.

“I heard you are planning to join the Glee Club?” asked she and Blaine frowned. What? Was that her problem she had with Kurt?

“Maybe? I'm not sure yet.”

“Oh,” she snapped and crossed her arms: “I hope you won't. I mean it's not really the right place for someone as popular as you are, right? I mean we are a group of losers.”

“Rachel!” Blaine hissed and took Kurt's hand under the table, squeezing it and couldn't believe how she was talking to him. Almost like... like he could be someone that... wait a second. Blaine knew this face, he knew this stubborn acting, this Rachel Berry acting and sighed. She saw Kurt as a rival.

“Rachel, I thought we were over this,” said Finn and Blaine was 100% sure he was right: “You are still our star.”

“I heard him singing, Finn. I don't need that, not now. It's my last high school year, the year where I need to get each solo, each role in a play so I can -” and she began to talk about NYADA and how she needs all of this so people see how talented she is. Blaine only shook his head, saw Tina and Mercedes rolling their eyes and Kurt looked at Rachel perplexed but then smiled and turned his head so he was looking back at Blaine.

After an hour they left the Lima Bean and Kurt and Blaine bought some burgers on their way to their favorite field. The quiet, dreamy field outside of the town where no one was but them. Well, not this time. Kurt stopped the car and climbed out off it while Blaine stared down and saw the football players there, throwing the football around, running around and Blaine just didn't want to leave the car.

“Blaine? Are you coming?” Kurt asked and turned around opening the door but Blaine didn't move at all. His eyes were focused on the bag with the burgers and he swallowed because his throat felt too thick. Meeting his friends with Kurt was different. His friends were from the glee club, his friends easily accepted other people and gave them a chance. His friends weren't popular like Kurt and his friends. And Blaine never forgot what they did to him.

“Can we go to your place? Or mine? I don't really care where but I just want to go.”

Kurt turned around and heard them laughing and shouting something and then he turned back to Blaine and took his hand.

“We talked about this. You don't need to be afraid, Blaine.”

“But look at me and look at you and them.”

Kurt just smiled: “I do. And you know what I see? I see my boyfriend, who makes me happy because he wants to be with me. And I see them, who don't have what I have. And I see us, going through this together.”

Finally Blaine looked at him but still wasn't convinced to leave the car.

“I don't care about them, Blaine. Yeah, I hang out with them and yes, some of them are friends of mine. And if they are really my friends they'll see how happy you make me and accept you.”

“You really don't mind?”

“No, Blaine. In a year I probably won't see them again, maybe I'll forget some of those people I called friends. But this,” he squeezed his hand: “I won't forget this and I don't want this to be over soon.”

This was probably what it felt like to be accepted for who you are and what you like and just your whole being. It didn't matter if Blaine was popular or not. If he wore expensive, pretty clothes or not or if he loved football or not. It didn't matter at all because what made Kurt happy was everything Blaine was and not what he wasn't. And he loved Kurt, he really loved him. Not for his status, not for his sense for fashion or how he looked like. He loved him so much because for making Blaine happy and feel loved.

“Me too,” said Blaine and climbed out of the car.

 


	6. Experience

 

Part 6. Experience

 

 

It didn't feel right. Not at all. First Rachel made him really uncomfortable and for the first time ever Blaine wanted to call her out on her behavior and how selfish she was and now he was about to face Kurt friends. Or supposed friends because he still didn't figure out how someone as nice and supportive and patient as Kurt could be friends with those guys. Sure they were all popular and most of the kids at school avoided them because of understandable reasons. But Kurt held his hand and never let go, not when Blaine left the car, not when they walked down the field not even when his friends noticed Kurt and greeted him with a big smile but it faded away when they saw Blaine. Kurt wasn't like they were. He wasn't mean, he wasn't walking around and bulling people, he wasn't showing his popularity. He told Blaine it just happened and yes, some things just happened, Blaine knew that.

“Hey, Kurt!” Puck came up to them and fist bumped Kurt with a grin and then looked at Blaine and their entwined fingers: “Your boyfriend, huh?” Oh, so Puck knew very well Kurt was gay judging by his unimpressed look. Actually he looked pretty pleased.

“Yeah, my boyfriend Blaine.” he said and squeezed Blaine's hand as he felt how tense he became when the others came closer and stared at them with wide eyes and raised eyebrows.

“You are gay?” one of them asked and Blaine didn't know his name.

“You never told us you were.”

Blaine watched the five faces in front of him and one of them had a pleased, almost creepy smile. It was like he knew something and Blaine really didn't like to see that face.

“I told you guys about that. But it doesn't really matter, right Rick?” Kurt said and looked at the guy who’s smile made Blaine so uncomfortable.

“You knew this, Puck?” Rick asked.

“Yeah, so what?”

“Nothing,” Rick said and was watching Blaine, his eyes moving down his body and it made Blaine even more uncomfortable that he wanted to just go away with or without Kurt.

“I just don't think your little boyfriend can hang out with us. He isn't one of our kind.”

Ouch... yeah, that hurt, pretty deep. Not that Blaine didn't know that but actually hearing it from Kurt's friend was more painful than the thought. It should have been better if he just went, far away and didn't embarrass Kurt that much. He looked down, at their hands and slowly let go of it but Kurt held him stronger, almost too strong.

“And what do you consider as our kind?” it was the first time Blaine really heard anger in Kurt's voice and saw it in his face. He wasn't furious, he wasn't burning, but he was angry so people could see it.

“Do you really want a nerd around us? I don't care if you are gay or whatever, but I don't want to turn into some kind of joke in our last year of high school.”

“Are you crazy? Kurt is our friend, if he wants to be with Blaine then we'll be happy for him,” Puck said and was as much angry as Kurt.

Rick just chuckled and rolled his eyes: “Yeah, whatever.” He walked up to them, patted Kurt a bit too hard on his shoulder and said: “I see you in three weeks, right? The big summer party like every year?”

“Well see,” said Kurt and shrugged Ricks hand off his shoulder.

“You better be there,” was the last thing Rick said and left the field followed by his friends. They murmured sorry and Puck even told Kurt to ignore Rick and be happy because he was just jealous. Jealous about what, Blaine thought? That Kurt was gay? That he had a boyfriend? Why would he be jealous when Kurt was about to lose his popularity because he was with Blaine? He had no doubt Rick would make a big deal about them and tell so Kurt's other friends and maybe they wouldn't want to be his friends anymore because of Blaine?

“Hey, why are you crying?” asked Kurt and Blaine didn't realize he was crying. Just now he felt the warm tears running down his face and how his eyes were burning and then he saw the worried look in Kurt's face who was so close.

“They... they don't want us to be together.”

Blaine sobbed and tried to stop his tears but he couldn't because it hurt to think that he might lose Kurt now. Those were his friends, people he hung out with for years now and why should he chose him? A guy he was together for only five weeks now. A guy as boring as he was. Rick said it, he wasn't like them, he didn't fit to their group and never would.

“But I... I want to be with you. But I... I'm not cool enough.”

“Blaine, calm down,” he said gently and took Blaine's glasses off to wipe the tears away and kiss his damp cheek: “Rick is an idiot and so are all the others who don't see how cool you are.”

But Blaine didn't stop crying. He was so sure that this was it, that his little dreamy summer was about to be over and he would go back to his usual life, which meant watching Kurt and dreaming about him. This time, though, with a broken heart.

“Come on,” he said and walked back to the car, holding Blaine's hand who followed him because where should he go anyway? Better facing it right now and knowing the truth instead of going home and waiting for the last step. Kurt opened the door to the backseat and gently shoved Blaine inside, following him and closed the door when they both were sitting inside. Kurt took the bag with the hamburgers and placed it on the front seat and Blaine didn't mind at all. He wasn't hungry he was just crying.

“Talk to me, please,” Kurt whispered as he came closer and wiped the tears away, looking at Blaine with a worried look and a bit helpless. He hiccuped, leaning his head which hurt so bad against the backrest and just wanted to sleep.

“Sweetie, talk to me. I don't know what to do so you stop crying.”

“It's just,” Blaine took a deep shaking breath and spoke on: “It's just... you've been friends with them for so long and... they are popular and with me you just... everyone will stop treating you like they used to... at school. I can't be like... like your friends are... and they don't like me.”

He heard the rain drops, he heard thunder and great, not even he was crying also the sky. Some minutes ago there was just sunshine and now? Blaine sighed and looked back to Kurt, seeing him smiling gently and how his hands took his: “Come here.” But Blaine didn't move. He was too scared to do anything and maybe Kurt would hug him and tell him, he was right and that it would be better for them to end this and Kurt noticed how insecure Blaine was. So he only held his hands and didn't move closer or forced Blaine to come closer.

“You know, in a year all of this won't matter anymore. In a year we both graduate and we all will go somewhere else. Some will stay here, some won't. And everything that is now won't matter. No one will care about that I was popular, no one will care about that you weren't. And many of those people we consider as friends won't be our friends in the future. Only a handful of them will stay our friends.”

Blaine stopped crying for a while and listened to him, watching Kurt's calm expression and feeling his thumbs running over the skin of his hand.

“That's why it doesn't matter to me, you know? I don't care if I'm popular or not and I don't care if they are fine with us or not. I don't care what they think about me or you. What matters is that you make me happy and I make you happy. And you are perfect to me, Blaine.”

“But... this is your life, Kurt. We have our roles to play at school and being with me means... getting slushied or something.”

Kurt chuckled and sighed: “I make sure they won't do that to you anymore.”

Blaine hummed in agreement and then took his eyes away from Kurt's face and looking back at their hands. So, what he got from that was that Kurt really didn't care what his friends thought and that he wasn't planning on breaking up with him. But he said this now, he said it now because they weren't at school and Blaine knew how a day at school looked like for him. Some people laughed at him because he always had an answer for everything, some laughed because of his outfit and some made fun of him about how he was still a virgin or never drank alcohol or stuff like that. Some things were true but it didn't matter and it was none of their business. It hurt and he really didn't want Kurt to experience the same because he got so much love, because his school life was better.

“You don't know what my life looks like, Kurt. I don't want you to get hurt.”

“You know what hurts me? The most right now?”

Blaine looked up, staring at those blue green eyes and sighed because – damn – he was so beautiful.

“That you don't trust me and don't want me.”

Blaine jerked his head, too fast and his eyes grew wide: “I trust you and I want you! I just... I'm scared that I'm... not good enough.”

“I already told you Blaine, you are good enough. More than enough for me.”

And slowly he moved closer, wrapping his arms around Kurt's neck and climbing on his lap, feeling how his boyfriend embraced him and held Blaine close.

“Please trust me.”

Kurt was right, Blaine didn't trust him the way he wanted to. Because if he would really trust him he wouldn't have any doubts. But he had them, still.

 

* * *

 

 

Blaine wasn't working anymore and had still some weeks left of his summer break. Which meant he almost spent each day with Kurt and it became something natural for him. They were dating for five weeks now and it felt like he was with him for years because it was so easy to be with him. Also that their families knew about them and their friends played an important part too. But what surprised him more were Kurt's friends. First they were pretty confused about why Blaine and Kurt hung out together. Then they understood they were dating and Kurt was just his amazing boyfriend, telling them that he really liked Blaine and that he was happy with him. Some of them disagreed but Puck – and this surprised Blaine even more – totally supported them. Yeah, somehow luck was a big part of his life.

He wasn't afraid anymore to hold hands with Kurt in public and run into their friends or when they curled up in Blaine's or Kurt's bed and just cuddled or watched something. It was easy and he enjoyed each second of it. He waited two years. He was dreaming about this for two years and Kurt for one and if only one of them had the courage, only of them had said something they would have been together for a while now. Yes, because of one simple coffee order Blaine Andersons summer became the summer of his life. He got his first boyfriend, his first kiss, he walked with someone he loved hand in hand through the city. They enjoyed the summer son, they enjoyed the afternoons in the swimming pool of his parents and Blaine slowly forgot how to be shy and careful. Kurt did something to him. Kurt gave him confidence and made him feel safe. Blaine had no idea how Kurt could do that but he did a great job. Still there was one thing Blaine couldn't handle and perhaps Kurt wasn't any better. He was fine with all this PG stuff, he was fine with all this stuff that didn't mean to pull his pants down or – god forbid – being naked, like completely naked. He could handle all kind of kisses, sloppy kisses, passionate kisses, the tongue, the whimpers, all the noises. He could handle all of this but the longer they kissed the more it turned him on. Soon everything turned Blaine on. The way Kurt walked, the way he smiled, held his hand, freaking everything and he jerked off to the image of his boyfriend almost each night. It was hard, so hard to think straight or ignoring his cock because he wasn't sure if he was ready for more. Just because he knew he loved Kurt, he knew he wanted him didn't mean that he wanted to have sex with him yet. Maybe because he didn't know if Kurt loved him? Maybe because he never said it to Kurt either? Or maybe because they only were together for five weeks? Blaine had no idea what it was that made him so insecure to go further. Luckily his awesome, beautiful boyfriend didn't push him and even he stopped kissing or touching when he felt it was too much for both of them.

But Blaine wanted to, he wanted him so badly he couldn't focus on anything. Sometimes, when Kurt walked through his room he just stared at his perfect ass and licked his lips and when Kurt turned around he pretended to be busy. Or when they were cooking together and Kurt was doing something with his fingers Blaine just stared at them and knew how they felt, but he wondered how they would feel like somewhere else. And Kurt would caught him staring and mention how Blaine was pouring too much water into his glass.

It was hard, hard for Blaine, hard for his cock... everything was just hard and he wished he could just not see those things or think those things. Yeah, he wished but Kurt made it pretty clear to him that he didn't feel any different.

 

It was the seventh week of their relationship and first they were just cuddling and watching Queer As Folk – which was the worst idea they ever had – it made everything just worse. The cuddling turned into kissing and when the episode was over Kurt took Blaine's glasses off – which was the sign for Blaine that it was over with being gently and lovely. Blaine was laying on his back and Kurt would be half on top of him and hold his face, kiss him deeply, making him dizzy and breathless and aroused, so much that Blaine would grab Kurt's thigh and drag him so Kurt was laying on his body completely. He loved the weight of Kurt's body on his, he loved feeling him everywhere and Blaine was so desperate for more that he bucked his hips and for the first time ever he felt Kurt's cock against his and a low moan fell from his lips. This friction, this feeling in his belly, knowing how easily he would come just from that made Blaine feel ashamed but also wanting for more and when he opened his eyes, looking into Kurt's and how dark they were, how kiss-swollen his lips were and how flushed his face was he knew Kurt just felt the same. They stopped kissing for when their cocks touched and Blaine slumped back into the pillows and just touched Kurt's face and said nothing, trying to calm down but his boyfriend had something different on his mind.

“Can I... see you?”

“You do see me.”

“No. I mean... I want to see your cock.”

Blaine stopped moving, stopped doing anything and just stared at his boyfriend like he tried to wrap it in his mind what he wanted and what could happen if he agreed on that. Not that he had something to hide or was ashamed of his body or his cock. No, it was just something he never did before – like many other things he never did before but share with Kurt. But this... this was different. This was Blaine making himself vulnerable like never before in his life. This was Blaine opening his whole being to Kurt, or at least a big part of his being.

“You don't have to, Blaine,” Kurt smiled, the same warm smile that calmed Blaine down and his long, beautiful fingers were running through his slicked hair.

“I just really... really want you.”

Blaine exhaled, caressed Kurt's cheek with his fingers and, God yes, he wanted him too but there was still something that made him uncomfortable.

“You still don't trust me, hm?” said Kurt but didn't sound disappointed or angry.

“I'm sorry.”

His boyfriend shook his head, rolled off of Blaine and lay beside him, smiling while Blaine turned to his side to face Kurt, still feeling his hard cock which became slowly painful.

“Is there something you want to tell me? Something that is bothering you?”

Blaine blinked and thought about that but... he really couldn't come up with something. Things were actually fine, since Kurt was with him things finally were fine.

“Is this still about me being popular and you not?”

Maybe it was about that, maybe it really was what kept Blaine in his safe place because they still were away from school, they didn't have to deal with people judging them on a daily basis. Their families supported them, got along and their friends, who both really considered as friends were supportive too.

“I... I'm just not used to have luck, you know. And... and I'm scared what it will be like when we go back to school.”

Kurt placed his hand on Blaine's waist, pulling him closer so that their noses were touching and he could steal a shot kiss and close his eyes, while feeling his boyfriend. Blaine did the same, placing his hand on Kurt's cheek, running his thumb over his cheekbone and closing his eyes. He could hear his heartbeat, smell this familiar scent, enjoy the warmth of his hand and listen to his breathing and his voice.

“What are you scared of?”

“That you... will run away from me. My school days aren't funny.”

Kurt chuckled and kissed him again: “And you think mine are?”

“You.. you are loved by everyone and no one is making fun of you.”

“Not quiet. I mean, yes, there are some benefits but you know, I also have to deal with jealous people. They can be pretty rude. But mainly I really have no free time, you know. There are people always wanting something from me, people who expect that I have always good grades, people who invite me to parties, who want a piece of me although I don't like them. It's really exhausting and stressful.”

“Oh,” Blaine breathed and wasn't sure if it was because of hearing what Kurt's life at school looked like or because his hand was laying on his hip, so close to his still hard cock.

“I seriously don't care about that but they just... keep me there somehow. I mean, for you it probably sounds wonderful, hm?”

“Compared to my life, yes. They always make fun of me, you know. They always laugh at my glasses or my bow ties. Sometimes I stutter during classes because I'm so nervous. Sometimes they even laugh about me because I'm gay and I would never... find someone because I'm..”

Blaine swallowed because it was hard to say what they called him sometimes. It was hard to think about it and remember all those dark times he had to deal with. And it was hard to tell this to Kurt because it made him vulnerable.

“You are what?”

“Pussy? Fagot? Stuff like that.”

But Kurt was the amazing boyfriend he always was. He pulled Blaine closer, their legs tangled together, chest to chest and just holding him there, giving him a long sweet kiss without opening his eyes even once.

“You aren't any of that, Blaine. I never noticed they called you stuff like that. You know I wanted to be with you for a year now but... I really had no idea about that.”

Blaine run his fingertips over the back of Kurt's head, feeling the his hair and asked in a whisper: “Why were you waiting for so long? I mean, okay, I was waiting for two years but... you know me now. I'm too... I was too shy and scared.”

Kurt smiled against Blaine's lips after he kissed him and hummed happily.

“I was shy too.”

“What?” Blaine opened his eyes and moved his head back to have a better look at Kurt's face and saw his shy smile. Shy smile?! Kurt could be shy?

“Surprised?”

“Of course. I never thought you are shy or something. You are always so sure about what you want and what you say and... how you have to treat me.”

“Believe me, you always make me nervous. In a good way.”

They became silent for a while and Blaine relaxed, still running his thumb over Kurt's cheek and just looking at him, trying to understand that he made Kurt nervous. He who was a nobody made Kurt Hummel who was confident, so sure about everything nervous. And it made him happy that he could do that. It really made him happy.

“The first time I saw you I couldn't get you out of my head, you know,” said Kurt and moved his hand away from Blaine's hip and touched his hair: “I love it when you leave your curls, but also when you use gel. Or when you wear your bow ties.” He touched Blaine's eyebrow: “I love the shape of your eyebrows, your big golden eyes, your nose, lips. Just everything.”

Oh his poor heart. It was beating fast, too fast, taking all the air away he needed to breath and pumping the blood through his body that he was sure he would burn any second.

“And I love how you eyes shine when you read the Harry Potter books, or how excited you become when your favorite part happens. I love how you talk about the things you enjoy and how much you enjoy them. Or how wide you smile when you are happy about something. Or the way you enjoy your morning coffee like it's the best thing ever. Or-”

“Okay, stop,” Blaine said and pressed his face into the pillow while Kurt laughed happily and came closer again, kissing Blaine's cheek and whispering: “I love you. Everything about you.”

Suddenly Blaine became calm, completely calm. His heart was still beating like crazy but his mind was completely clear, taking the words Kurt just said. Seven weeks, they were only together for seven weeks but for some reason Blaine didn't question Kurt's feelings or his own. For some reason he believed in those words and knew he wasn't lying. For some reason he knew he loved Kurt just as much and that this was right, this was everything he needed and wanted to have a happy life. Maybe it was his young mind playing tricks on him or his desperate wish to be truly loved by Kurt but it just felt so damn right that he forgot all his worries, all the questions, all the insecurity.

His boyfriend smiled at him, not making a look like he was expecting an answer, just looking the way he always did. But this time there was more. It was warmer, more intimate, more vulnerable. He took Kurt's hand, watching their fingers for a while and then looked back at Kurt.

“I think I love you too.”

“You think, hm?”

“No,” Blaine whispered and held himself up to crawl on top of his boyfriend, laying down and kissing him gently but so, that he felt how much it meant for him, how much he loved him.

“I'm pretty sure I do.”

He heard Kurt's happy hum, felt his nose nuzzling against his and then he just wrapped his arms around his boyfriends neck and breathed, breathed for the first time in his life. This was all he wanted, be loved by the person he loved and nothing else. Blaine just wanted to be loved and love back and never let this go because it felt right, it felt just so right and where he belonged.

“Thank you for loving me,” he whispered into Kurt's ear and closed his eyes, feeling Kurt's hands on his back, feeling his smile against his neck and hearing him saying: “Thank you, Blaine.”

 

* * *

 

He was always curios about what happened to people who truly loved someone and got that in return. He always was especially since the day he fell in love with Kurt. There were dreams, ideas how it would be like and feel like but the real thing was just crazy. Before their confession he was going crazy about what Kurt did to him by just moving his body or talking and how he always made him horny and wanting to try things out. But it became harder to resist and not just fall all over each other. First he made sure they were in Kurt's or his room when they made out. He really didn't want to get caught by their parents or whoever. He wished he still had this composure but he couldn't control his needs, his hormones and his love for this unreal boy and Kurt either. Sometimes when they were driving somewhere Kurt would just stop the car somewhere off the road where no one could see them and Blaine would crawl on his lap and share desperate and passionate kisses. Sometimes he started to open Kurt's shirt and shove his hand under the fabric to feel his hot skin under his fingers and roll his hips down but never go any further because then he got scared and began to shake. Whenever this happened, when everything was just too much Kurt said soothing words and told him it was okay. But what bothered Blaine the most was not him being crazy about his boyfriend but that he couldn't share a night with him, that he couldn't sleep at Kurt's place or Kurt at his. Not because his parents weren't okay with that but because of Blaine himself. He wasn't sure if he could sleep with Kurt next to him and knowing he could do all these things they still didn't experienced. He wanted to, he really wanted to but something just didn't fit yet. He quickly figured out what it was.

 

It was Friday evening – a week later – and they both decided to watch 'America's got talent' in his parents living room because they were out for dinner and the TV was larger than his. Yeah, they decided to watch it and they really wanted to but they ended up making out on his parents couch. Though this time Blaine was more than ready to try more things out. Kurt was above him and already opening his shirt when Blaine squeezed his ass and pressed him down so he could feel his hardening cock against his own. Both moaned into the mouth of the other and Kurt stopped for a second to look at his boyfriend with dark eyes and flushed cheeks, his breath already uneven.

“Should we go to your room?”

Blaine shook his head already missing his lips and wanting more friction. He really didn't want to move now because having Kurt between his legs and feeling him being just as horny as he was made it impossible to move away. It was perfect how it was now and they didn't have to do.. the actual thing.

“No, please. I just want you like this for a while.”

“Okay,” his boyfriend whispered and finally his lips were back on Blaine's, followed by his tongue sliding inside his move and asking for a dance. He really had no idea what got into him but he just wanted this to enjoy as long as possible. He loved the feeling of Kurt's tongue against his. He loved his hands on his bare chest, the deep moans Kurt made when he began to roll his hips or when Blaine squeezed his ass a little harder. He almost felt like he was drunk because not one sane thought crossed his mind there was only, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt. They found a steady rhythm and Blaine moved his hands away from Kurt's ass, holding his face so they wouldn't stop kissing and moved his hips together with Kurt's. Both were fully hard after a short time and rutting against each other and he felt it growing. The familiar heat in his belly, sweaty hands, sweat in his hair and his gorgeous, beautiful boyfriend on top of him, kissing him with everything he got and moving so perfectly so their hard cocks were always rubbing together and making them both moan lower he knew he was about to come. He would come in his pants and he couldn't care less.

“Blaine?”

And then, hearing the voice of his mother, Blaine immediately wasn't turned on anymore. He didn't want to come, he literally froze and stared into the wide eyes of his boyfriend. This wasn't happening... this wasn't fucking happening. His hands were resting on Kurt's shoulders and both slowly looked to the door seeing Blaine's mother standing there with a far too amused smile. He couldn't believe it! He just couldn't! This was the most embarrassing moment ever! He already had some with his mom but this just... this was the top of everything.

“Boys, I know you are young and you love each other,” she said and Blaine whimpered and pressed his face against Kurt's shoulder to hide the beet red cheeks and his embarrassment while Kurt held him and probably smiled nervously: “But you have your room for those things, Blaine.”

“Mom! Please just go! You shouldn't even be here yet!”

“I'm already out, dear. Your dad just forgot his purse.”

She walked around the couch and he could feel her eyes on them and her amused smile because this woman would ask him out later. She would be happy for him, freak out but she would ask him all these embarrassing things and he just didn't want that now. He didn't want to see what Kurt was doing but then he felt his lips against his ear, kissing it with the purpose to calm Blaine down but he wouldn't, not until his mother was gone. He heard her walking back then how she stood still and said: “You have everything you need, sweetie? I might have bought some-”

“I'm fine!”

Kurt made no sound, not even a chuckle nothing but his mother giggled: “Stay safe, boys.” And then she finally left.

“Oh god!” Blaine breathed against Kurt's neck and he felt like he was about to cry because his cock hurt so bad and this was just the worst thing that could happen to any teenager. One of his parents walking in while they were making out with their partner. God he almost came while his mother was around!

“It's okay, baby,” Kurt said with a calm voice.

“This was horrible, Kurt.”

He heard him chuckle and leaned back to finally see Kurt's face and his smile which was what he really needed now.

“Well, it wasn't really smart from us to stay here and... do this.”

Now it was Blaine who made a short laugh and then rubbed his eyes, slowly calming down because he knew he couldn't change what just happened. Still, this would come on his list of the most embarrassing things ever.

“You alright?” Kurt asked and ran his hand through Blaine's hair, keeping his hips up because he knew how much it would hurt to just press down.

“Yeah... I will be.”

“Good,” a whisper and a gentle kiss was shared: “Should we go to your room and... start again where we stopped?”

If Blaine could he would have laughed, like really because he just had the same thought despite the fact that they just got caught by doing this which wasn't meant for any parent to see. But he knew now what it was that made him so, uncomfortable doing this with Kurt. It wasn't because he didn't trust Kurt or because he was scared. It was because he wasn't able to do this with people around or even knowing they were close.

“Just give me a second until I can feel my legs again.”


	7. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is also a Sequel :) "School, Homework, Love And Life With You"

 

Part 7. Together

 

Blaine really loved his parents. He also really liked Burt Hummel. But he didn't like that they were around them. It was his personal cockblock, the only thing that made him truly uncomfortable so he wouldn't go any further but just kissing and touching Kurt and whenever he wanted more he got frustrated because he just couldn't do it when he knew there were other people in the house. And outside? No way. Someone could caught them or worse, caught them, call the police and feel offended because two young men making out in the daylight of Ohio. He didn't need to tell Kurt when to stop he just felt it in the way how Blaine's body froze or he turned his head away to stop kissing Kurt. He knew it without a word and stopped immediately, only holding Blaine close and whispering that it was fine, that he would wait, that they didn't need to do anything at all. Yes, his boyfriend was the most amazing person on this planet. Not only did he look beautiful and made men and women gasp when he passed them by, he was also such a humble, smart, understanding and lovely person. But he also stood up for himself and for Blaine. He was perfect, for Blaine he was perfect. Even his flaws, especially his flaws made him perfect. So far Blaine thought Kurt was flawless but he had flaws and it made him just more real, more human and more loveable. Like he always used to keep his clothes neat and clean or when he ordered something and snapped with his fingers – yeah it was annoying but this was Kurt. Each flaw, each beautiful thing, each habit, Blaine loved it all. And Kurt gave him all this in return.

He never called Blaine a nerd, he never laughed about his bow ties, he never seemed to be annoyed when he began to talk about his favorite books, shows or characters. Even if Blaine annoyed him Kurt probably wouldn't say it and just watch him being happy. Because that's what he wanted, right? Blaine being happy and also being happy for himself.

But like each dreamy relationship there would come a point when they both leave this pink wonderland and snap. It happened when they discussed the party Rick was talking about. And it was Blaine who began the argument. There were only three weeks left of their summer break and by the end of the week his parents would leave the house for their California trip. Two whole weeks without them. Two weeks he could do what he wanted to share with Kurt so badly. He actually planned it this Saturday, right after his parents were gone.

“Why are you even going there? You said you don't care what they think and you said I matter more to you than anyone,” Blaine spoke and was surprised how loud he could be. Well he wasn't that loud but still louder than usually.

“I don't care what they think about us. Still they are my friends and it's a tradition for us to go there and I told you, you can come with me,” Kurt said while he was sitting on Blaine's bed.

“You know I'm not like them and I won't feel comfortable there. They'll laugh at me and treat me like... like shit.”

Maybe it was unfair from Blaine to ask Kurt to not go there. But it was also unfair from Kurt to ask him to go there with him. He knew exactly what Blaine thought about those people and he also knew what they thought about him. So why would he ever come up with the idea that Kurt should go with him there.

“I won't let that happen, Blaine, and many of them will accept you just the way you are.”

He stared at Kurt and his boyfriend stared back, not telling much through his look but trying to dig into Blaine's head probably.

“I'm not drinking, or sharing gossip or doing any of the stuff they do. I won't go there and I don't want... I don't understand why you would go there when you actually dislike all of this being-popular-thing.”

Kurt sighed and looked at Blaine like something hurt him: “It has nothing to do with being popular or not. It's life, Blaine. Just living and making experiences.”

“So you tell me you like to drink, getting drunk and spread gossip? And, I don't know, doing all these things young teenagers do and put yourself in danger?”

“Danger? What are you talking about?”

Maybe it was because he'd been watching way too many times Queer As Folk, or maybe it was because he had such a big fantasy, but he was scared Kurt would do something stupid like taking drugs, drink and drive, have fights with someone. All those things he knew Kurt would never do. No, but he was just sad and a bit disappointed. He wanted this weekend to be only about them, to do what he wanted to do with his boyfriend for the past days.

“Nevermind,” Blaine said and went to his shelf, picking out his Doctor Who DVD box.

“You think I'll do something stupid?”

Blaine said nothing, he just kept himself busy with choosing a DVD and put it into his player and turned on the TV.

“You don't trust me?”

“No, Kurt. I do trust you. But I don't want you to go there.”

He turned around, looking at his boyfriend and seeing the curious but also hurt look. No, damn, he didn't mean that to happen. It was wrong to keep Kurt away from his friends but he also wanted this weekend to be special. Special for them both.

“Blaine. You should come with me and see it's not that bad. I would like to show them how special you are and how awesome you are. We don't have to be there for long. Just one or two hours.” He felt Kurt's hand on his shoulder, felt how he came closer and for the first time in a while he shrugged his touch off and looked away.

“No. Go if you want to. I won't.”

Seconds passed by, seconds of silence and then Kurt left his room and for the first time since he was with Kurt Blaine felt like his heart could break any minute.

 

* * *

 

Maybe he was overreacting but he really was hurt that Kurt decided to go there to a place where he didn't really want to be and also wanting Blaine to accompany him although he knew how much Blaine disliked this kind of stuff. They didn't call each other or texted each other. Nothing and Friday evening, when he was sitting on his bed and watching the first episode of Doctor Who season 4 he found himself smiling about Donna. It was the first time he truly smiled in days. Of course his mother noticed that something was up but Blaine just said it was a misunderstanding between him and Kurt. And it was just that. It was wrong from Blaine to not tell Kurt what he had in mind but it also wrong from Kurt to want him to go to this party. He didn't like those guys and he for sure didn't want to be around them.

 

Saturday morning he met Mercedes and tried to distract himself. She talked about Sam and how they began to date but that she doesn't think they'll be together because it didn't feel right at the moment. He only nodded and agreed on everything she said until the noticed Blaine wasn't with her. “What's going, Blaine?”

“Huh?”

She moved closer to him, grabbing his chin and looking into his eyes which were still a bit watery and tired from the crying he had done last night.

“You and Kurt are okay?”

“Why do you ask?”

She gave him a wide smile, rubbing his gelled hair and Blaine complained about that.

“Because since you and Kurt are together you've never been this sad.”

Uh... okay maybe he was a bit obvious. Blaine sighed, shoved his glasses back up his nose and shrugged. It would only take one call, one message and everything would be fine again, right? He just needed to explain himself and Kurt would understand, right? But what if he wouldn't? What if he changed his mind? Who knew with him he was talking when he wasn't around Blaine and who knew if his friends convinced him that Blaine was bad for him? Huh? No... no, this was not true. He trusted Kurt, he really did. His boyfriend had his own mind, his own eyes and opinion and he would never listen to anyone as long as it felt right.

“He is going to a party with his 'friends' and I didn't want him to go there. But he said he wanted me to go with him but I can't. I don't like them. I mean Puck is okay but the others are weird.”

“Oh, Blaine,” she soothed him and rubbed his back: “This is just something those popular kids do, you know?”

“I know. I know that because he is popular he has to do some things. But it's stupid! He doesn't have to do anything what they want. It's just a stupid existing rule in high school.”

People always said because you are this and that you have to do this and that. Like he was a nerd so he had to be around the nerds and losers at school. And since Kurt was popular he had to be there for any one and always be the best in whatever he was doing. This all was just stupid and unfair and life would eventually stop being like this. One day he wouldn't be the nerd anymore and Kurt would stop being popular.

“You should call him, Blaine.”

But Blaine didn't want to. In the end they were Kurt's friends for almost four years now and he couldn't tell him to not go there again. It was wrong at the beginning and wrong that he didn't tell him the truth and now things were even more difficult. He actually planned to have a nice dinner with Kurt, maybe cook together, watch a movie together and then he would sleep at Blaine's place for the first time ever and Blaine would be so comfortable that he was ready to do more with his boyfriend. They were always so close to take the next step, always but Blaine stopped it each time when he felt how close he was. He never came in front of Kurt and he never saw him naked but he wanted to. So bad.

“Maybe...”

Later when he was back home again he met his parents in the corridor their stuff already packed and ready to leave the house any minute. Exhausted he ran his hand through his hair and saw his mothers huge smile.

“Sweetheart, we're about to leave. I left you enough money in the usual mug in the kitchen and whatever happens, call us, okay?”

“Yes, mom.”

Then she walked up to him, hugged him and smiled at her son with huge eyes and still this wide smile on her face: “And be safe, okay? Luckily you can't get pregnant or Kurt.”

“Mom!” Blaine groaned and his face turned into a deep red.

She giggled like she thought this was just something very funny but it was not. Not for Blaine.

“I know you two will be fine. Kurt is a good boy.”

Blaine only nodded and saw his father taking their bags and then they both left the house and Blaine was alone. Alone in a huge house with so many things he used to have fun with, he used to spent his time with but all he could think about that he could do all these things together with his boyfriend. He went to the kitchen, put a pizza in the oven and went to his room to change into his pajamas. Harry Potter pajamas - with little golden snitches on - them Kurt bought him last week. He even bought himself a pair and Blaine would never forget how happy it made him. There were even more happy memories, so many that it made Blaine's heart heavy and he fought with himself to text Kurt or not. It was almost 9pm and Kurt probably already went to that stupid party with all those stupid people. He took the pizza out of the oven and went back to his room, starting the Doctor Who DVD and making himself comfortable on his bed. There was still the last Harry Potter book they wanted to read together and then they wanted to watch the movies but it would happen later... or maybe never? What if their relationship was done? What if they broke up and he head no idea? No, Kurt would never break up with him like this and Blaine wouldn't do it that way too. Never. Feeling how his head began to hurt he took off his glasses, took a slice of his pizza and began to eat and watch the episode about the Ood, Donna and the Doctor. He slowly got into the episode, enjoying it but then his phone vibrated and he wanted to bet that it was a text from his mother and some comment about them having sex. But Blaine blinked when he saw the familiar name he didn't expect.

 

**Kurt 9:21pm:**

 

_I guess you are still mad at me, right?_

Blaine read the message many times, put his phone away, took it back and then gave in, answering. Who was he kidding? He couldn't ignore a text from Kurt.

 

**Blaine 9:29pm:**

 

_I'm not mad at you. I can't._

 

**Kurt 9:30pm:**

 

_Can I see you?_

 

**Blaine 9:31pm:**

 

_I told you I won't go there._

 

**Kurt 9:33pm:**

 

_No, not there. I'm at your front door._

 

Huh? Blaine looked at his window, trying to see something but he couldn't see anything.

 

**Kurt 9:35pm:**

 

_Do you want to see me?_

 

Without any hesitation he jumped off his bed, out of his room through the corridor and opened the front door. There he was, wearing casual clothes, a bag in his hand and smiling sadly while he looked at Blaine. It felt good, so good to see him after almost a week not seeing his boyfriend. Seeing the bag, knowing what it meant and all his anger just disappeared.

“Your mom called me.”

“Oh god,” Blaine groaned and Kurt laughed quietly.

“Don't worry. She was just worried what was wrong with us. And told me they would be gone... this weekend.”

Oh God! Blaine told Kurt about how comfortable he was making out with him while others were around and now knowing his mother called Kurt to basically allow him to do _this_ with her son... Blaine pressed his hand against his face and stepped aside to let Kurt inside.

“She is so embarrassing, oh my God.”

“She is okay.”

After some breathing to calm himself down he looked back at Kurt and still saw this sad smile and the worry in his eyes. Oh, yes. He should tell him that there was really no need to. No, this fighting was stupid and of course they would have more fights, bigger fights, smaller fights but right now this fight was just stupid and he really didn't want this. In two weeks they would be back at school and everything would change for them. Better or worse? Blaine wasn't sure. Now, though, he wanted to spend time with his boyfriend and just be alone with him. With two fast steps he came closer, wrapped his arms tightly around Kurt and pressed himself against his body, missing his scent, missing his warmth and being more than happy to have this back.

“I'm sorry.”

“I'm sorry too,” Kurt answered and hugged Blaine back: “I shouldn't have asked you to go there with me.”

“And I should have told you why I was so angry.”

Blaine pulled away, looking at his boyfriend and finally his smile wasn't sad anymore. His hands slid down Kurt's back, to his hands and held them: “I wanted to have you here... with me. Alone.”

There was nothing more Blaine had to say because Kurt understood. His hands squeezed Blaine and his eyes were focused on them until he looked back at Blaine and gave him a small kiss.

“That's why I have my bag with me. With my pajamas and other... stuff.”

Blaine hummed happily, feeling how he blushed but he didn't care. This moment, he dreamed about this for so many days and nothing would ruin this for him.

“Good,” he whispered and kissed Kurt again.

They went to Blaine's room, finished the pizza together and watched another Doctor Who episode together. It was just that Blaine couldn't pay much attention to the episode. He held Kurt in his arms, kissed his temple from time to time and after twenty minutes even Kurt couldn't pay much attention to the TV and turned his head from Blaine's chest so he could look at him with this lovely smile he had for Blaine. All Blaine could do was smiling back, just as pleased and as much in love as his boyfriend. There was something like proud he felt that Kurt didn't go to this party but also a deep, warm and safe love for him. That's why he didn't really feel unsure or shy. Actually he felt pretty much confident and wanted Kurt to feel this too.

“Maybe we should take a shower? Together?”

And without any hesitation Blaine nods and they both stand up leaving his room to go to the bathroom. In his head this all was pretty easy. They would take their clothes off, walk into the shower together and he would see his boyfriend naked, for the first time, and fall even more in love with him. Even if it was so easy to imagine the real thing made him suddenly nervous, not anxious, not unsure but just nervous. Being naked made him vulnerable, made Kurt vulnerable and they both would allow the other to see and touch places only they know and never let anybody else touch them. Yet, if someone was ever allowed to touch Blaine this way he wanted Kurt to be his first. He needed Kurt to be his first.

“Come here,” his boyfriend said gently when he stood in front of the shower and Blaine just did that. A sweet long kiss was shared and then he felt how Kurt took Blaine's hands, guided them to his shirt and he got that hint and began to undress him, like Kurt began to undress Blaine. With each layer that fell to the floor he got to see more and more skin of his boyfriend. Pale skin, perfect skin and it made it hard to breath, so hard he thought his confidence would just go away and his knees would give in.

“Close your eyes,” whispered Kurt as he leaned his forehead against Blaine's and they both closed their eyes, still undressing each other. It felt so much longer until Blaine was naked but he knew only seconds passed by. They breathed through their noses, letting their hands rest on the others shoulders and then, slowly, exploring they moved them down. Blaine ran from Kurt's naked shoulders down his arms, feeling warm, soft skin under his fingertips, then back up to his chest, down over his belly and there was no hair just skin, skin, skin and Kurt mimicked his action, synchronous to Blaine's. It felt so clear, so close, like he was crawling under Blaine's skin and drawing lines over it. Warm, filled with love marks and it took all his worries, all his thoughts about was this right or wrong away. It was right, so right and when he heard Kurt breathing _I love you_ he slowly opened his eyes and drowned into the endless blue and green of Kurt's eyes. Blaine said it too and kissed his boyfriend, pressing his body slowly against Kurt's, feeling his bare chest on his, feeling his skin all over his and also his half hard cock. No shame, no insecurity was there, just love, want and the safe feeling. They stepped into the shower, right under the hot water and began to wash each other between slow kisses and exploring hands but never touching down there. No, they washed themselves there and when they were done, their bodies warm, pliant and damp they walked back to Blaine's room, rubbing their hair dry and then they just stood there, facing each other and taking the picture in. Kurt was even more beautiful, so beautiful Blaine had a hard time believing his was real, that he was real. His body was so much longer naked, especially his legs and then there was his gorgeous cock – he never thought he would think a penis was gorgeous – but it was like everything that was Kurt. Arms, waist, clean, pale skin and Blaine felt suddenly pretty small. It was just that whenever Kurt smiled, whenever he gave him the familiar smile or a new one, like right now, all he could see was love, so much love he wanted to cry because he was the lucky one getting this love. He reached out for Kurt's hand, pulling him to a hug and whispering how beautiful he was, how much he loved him, how much he wanted him and Kurt whispered it back. Then, after some seconds of just holding each other Kurt pulled back, walking to the bed and taking Blaine with him until he was laying on his back and Blaine was right above him, holding himself up by his hands.

“I want you to be inside of me.”

Holy... Blaine stopped breathing when he heard his words and felt how his cock became rock hard. Oh God, there he was, there they were, so close to the real thing.

“I mean if you want to.”

“I want to!” Blaine said it almost too loud and they both turned red and giggled.

“Okay, there... there is lube in my bag and condoms.”

Nodding Blaine leaned over the edge of the bed and rummaged in Kurt’s bag until he found the bottle and five condoms. He raised his eyebrows and shuffled back to Kurt, giving him a questioning glance.

“We don't have to use them all,” he became even more red and it was the first time Blaine saw him shy. This was such a different picture of Kurt, so unfamiliar but absolutely adorable. It made him just more real, more human, more like him.

“I guess you know how to... do it?”

“Yes,” Blaine smiled and crawled back to Kurt but stopped when he saw how he opened his legs, making room for Blaine to lay just between them and he couldn't take his eyes away from his hard cock, laying there and just showing how much he wanted him. Him. Blaine. He was hard because of him and it made Blaine ridiculously proud.

“I saw enough episodes of Queer as Folk and read enough about it,” he said calmly and crawled between Kurt's legs, still keeping his body up but kissing his giggling boyfriend.

“A show as a guide for how to have sex?”

Uh, listening to the word sex made his belly twist with heat which went directly down to his cock.

“It's not just sex... it's more,” Blaine said and they both smiled, showing the love they felt for each other. This wasn't just losing their virginity, this wasn't just sex. This was them, Kurt and Blaine, sharing their love and showing their love in a way both didn't experience yet.

“So much more,” Kurt whispered and placed his head gently on the back of Blaine's head and pulled him down to kiss him. It were sweet kisses, slow kisses and when Blaine slowly lowered himself down on Kurt's body feeling this soft skin, feeling their naked cocks touching there kiss became more. More lips, tongues gliding together, teeth crashing and little moans escaping their trembling lips when Kurt moved his hips. Kurt held Blaine's face, kissing him harder, whimpering, moaning with him and rutting faster against each other. Then Kurt took his hand away, sliding it down to Blaine's shoulder, along his chest and they stopped kissing. Blaine held himself up again, watching Kurt's hand wandering lower and lower until he felt his fingers around his hard cock. Shivering he pressed his face against Kurt's neck, moaning low and long when he stroked his length and feeling small kisses against his forehead. This was way much better when Kurt stroked him compared to when Blaine used his own hand. Needing a while he used his own hand to slide Kurt's body down and gave him the same pleasure, hearing Kurt making all these arousing noises and as he felt how close he was, how faster he was breathing Kurt stopped and hummed happily, running a hand through Blaine's curls.

“We should... we should use the lube.”

“Okay,” he answered, his mouth dry and moving his tired body to get the lube. Oh now he was really excited because Blaine knew what would happen next. He would use the lube for his fingers, for Kurt's hole and prepare himself for the actual thing. He would dig his fingers one after another inside him, stretching his boyfriend and: “Oh God...”

There was Kurt's hand again, running up and down his arm, soothing, warm and calming him down and Blaine stared at his smile, this sure smile this half closed eyes and knew, this was absolutely right. Back between his legs he poured a generous amount of lube on his fingers, watching Kurt's chest rising and falling, watching his cock twitching and then he looked further down and saw his hole when his boyfriend spread his legs even wider. He warmed the lube up between his fingers and placed one against his hole, touching the rim, feeling how hot he was there and, god, the noises Kurt made were driving him crazy.

“It's okay,” Kurt said, giving Blaine an encouraging look and then he slowly pushed his finger inside. Tight, all he could think of was tight, Kurt and hot. It already felt so tight and amazing around his finger so how would it feel like being inside him?

“Is this alright?”

“Yes, you can move faster,” Kurt moaned and Blaine pumped his finger in and out and added a second finger when Kurt made pleased sounds and moving his hips with Blaine's fingers. Scissoring his fingers, moving faster but always keeping a close look at Kurt to make sure he didn't hurt him or did something wrong. Obviously he wasn't because his boyfriend looked and moved and sounded pleased and aroused and just so beautiful. Sweat covering his skin, body burning and a third finger followed. It was almost too much, too much to feel, to see and Blaine was sure he could just come from this, from watching his boyfriend fall apart.

“Okay, that's enough, honey.”

Slowly he pulled his fingers out, controlling his trembling hand, his body and letting a high sigh out while Kurt opened the condom and sat up, slowly, placing a soft kiss on Blaine's lips while he wrapped his hand around Blaine's dick and rolled the condom on it.

“I love you, Blaine.” Their noses nuzzled against each other, their lips turned into warm smiles.

“I love you too.”

After that Blaine's mind stopped thinking, stopped worrying and were only focused on the body below him, on those blue eyes and followed Kurt as he laid down again, kneeling between his legs and rubbed the head of his cock over and over at Kurt's hole. No regret, nothing, not one single dark thought and he pressed his lips against Kurt's as he slowly pushed inside his tight hole, humming with Kurt, moaning with Kurt and going deeper and deeper.

“Does... does it hurt?”

Kurt shook his head, wrapping his arms tightly around Blaine's neck, holding him like Blaine's was his safe place, like he was his lifeline and it made him feel strong, so strong because not only Kurt was the one who helped him, gave him courage, made him more self confident and feel loved. No. Blaine was also able to give Kurt that.

“No. It burns though but... it's good. Please.. move.”

This all was like a dream but it felt too real to be a dream and he never wanted this to be a dream. It was too wonderful, too perfect, this could never be a dream. Blaine moved his hips slowly, slipping in and out of Kurt letting him get used to this and then he decided to move faster, changing his position a bit and then Kurt cried out, throwing his head back and Blaine stopped, staring at him with panic.

“Oh God! Sorry! Did I... did I hurt you?”

“No,” Kurt whimpered, fucking himself down on Blaine's cock and wow, okay, that was different but good, too good: “It was good. Amazing. Please... again.”

And of course Blaine did just that, thrusting in again, hitting the same spot which drove Kurt crazy and moving faster and faster. Oh sweet Jesus, this felt better than he imagined, Kurt was sexier and more beautiful under him and Blaine knew he wouldn't take it any longer. Not with Kurt's hands all over his body, not with their deep long moans, not with their racing hearts, fast breath that feel against Kurt's lips, not with all those desperate and eager kisses they shared. Never ever would he be able to make love to Kurt with other people in his house. Never. This was their first time, this was them being loud, falling apart, falling deeper into this deep place of arousal and love and he was still surprised that he didn't come yet.

“I'm close, Kurt... so close,” Blaine moaned against lips and wrapped his hand around Kurt's neglected cock, stroking him fast and strong and then Kurt cried out, holding his breath and trembling under Blaine felt the hot come running down his fingers which was too much for him. He came right after Kurt, eyes rolling back, mouth open and body trembling.

 

* * *

After they both calmed down and cleaned themselves up they both just laid on Blaine's bed, facing each other and holding each other Blaine slowly realized what just happened. He had sex for the first time in his life. He made love with the person he loved for two years and was allowed to tocuh this person, kiss this person and get all of this in return. Two years of dreaming, wanting and feeling lost and sometimes crying alone were over. They where over the moment Kurt asked him out and within weeks he made such a deep connection to Kurt, so deep he wondered how long would this stay. How long would they love each other, how long would they feel exactly this. But those thoughts were mainly pointless because he couldn't say what the future was holding for them. Just now, all this, having Kurt next to him, staring into his eyes and letting his hand run up and down his arm, this was all, this was what he wanted for forever.

“You are alright?”

“Of course,” Blaine answered and smiled while Kurt gave him a worried look.

“It's just... you are quiet for almost an hour.”

“I'm... I'm just thinking and... I'm really happy.”

Kurt moved snuggled closer, kissing the corner of Blaine's mouth, nuzzling against Blaine's cheek, pressing his naked body against Blaine's, still warm, pliant after what they did and saying: “Tell me about your thoughts.”

Something changed. Something changed between them which was nothing bad. It was more like Blaine felt stronger, maybe more mature and more sure about them. It was huge, it was confusing at some point but holding Kurt like this, keeping him safe in his arms instead the other way around... it was good. Equal.

“I was just thinking... thinking about the last two years and how I always wanted you and now I have you, like in so many ways. Many of them are still unreal for me and never even crossed my mind. And just... I never thought this would ever happen. You and me.”

He held him stronger, closer: “And I'm just so happy like never before in my life.”

“I thought you hated me, you know?” Kurt whispered against his cheek: “But I figured you didn't. You were just... you. So shy and unsure but so lovely.”

Uh... Blaine felt himself blushing. He wasn't blushing that hard when they were naked, but those words made him blush.

“I still am though. Not when it's about you but... thinking we will be back at school in two weeks makes me pretty nervous.”

Oh yes... he wasn't ready for all the odd looks, for all the whispers and for the people who would laugh or be against their relationship. It wouldn't be easy because this here, here in his house, everything outside from school was his heaven, was his paradise. They could be who they were, go where they wanted to and do what they wanted to. School was a complete different place with so many mean teenagers Blaine really didn't want to go back there.

“Don't be. I'll be there, our true friends will be there and we have our families. They will support us. But most importantly, we have each other.”

Maybe this would be enough. Maybe because of this they would go through their last year and still be together. He really hoped that, he really wanted that. Perhaps it was too soon, perhaps it was his young mind telling him this, but he really wanted to be forever with Kurt. Just now wasn't the right time to say this. So he only nodded, kissed Kurt's cheek and settled down, slowly closing his eyes and enjoying the first night with his boyfriend. The first sleep after he'd grown up a little bit.

 

* * *

 

School. He usually liked school because he was hungry to learn more and more. Whenever school began he ended up reading book after book, studying, educating himself and be in his own little world. This year though everything would be different. Blaine Anderson wasn't that shy guy anymore, without any experience when it was about being in love, being a couple. Okay, maybe he was still shy and anxious a bit but he had a boyfriend. He had Kurt Hummel as a boyfriend who proved to him, over and over again that he wasn't playing with him, that he really wanted to be with Blaine and Blaine had no doubts about that anymore. But school? Blaine felt sick when he watched all the people walk inside the building while he was sitting in the passenger seat and sinking down, trying to become one with the seat.

“We can wait until everyone is inside, Blaine,” Kurt said from the driver seat and Blaine felt his eyes on him.

“No. I'm never late for class.”

But it was so hard for him to leave the car and walk inside. He wondered who knew about them, he wondered if someone was waiting there and would laugh at them the moment they saw them walking together inside the school.

“You want to go alone inside? So no one will see us together?”

fast he turned his head to look at Kurt and shook it violently, eyes wide.

“No! Please, don't leave me!”

“Hey,” Kurt raised his eyebrows, taking Blaine's hand and squeezing it: “I won't leave you. If you want I will hold your hand until you are in your class. I will leave when you think you don't need me anymore.”

“I always need you.”

Without him he felt like... he was just half himself and he knew when he had to face all of this alone he would end up crying and maybe running away because it would be too much. Well, maybe he was just overreacting but he really didn't want to be alone today.

“Okay,” Kurt smiled and climbed out of the car, walking to Blaine's side and opening the door but Blaine didn't move.

“Look. This is our last year. In less than a year we'll be done with school and we won't see most of them ever again,” Kurt spoke and hunkered down, looking up at his boyfriend: “Then we'll go somewhere else, outside of Ohio where people don't mind us. Accept us the way we are. People who aren't young and stupid like most of at school.”

“We... we are going?”

“Well, I hope you will abide with me for a long time.”

As if Blaine would ever want anybody else. How could Kurt even think that?

“Keep that in mind, okay? And also that I love you. No ones going to change that.”

It was pointless to worry about that what other people would say and think. Blaine knew it was but he was still nervous, still scared. But there was no other way then to go there and face everything and wait till the year was over. Then, and he trusted Kurt, everything would change. Hopefully the way Kurt just said it and Blaine wished it.

“Okay,” he took a deep breath, exhaled and watched Kurt bending up, giving him a short but encouraging kiss and then he climbed out of the car, taking their bags and Kurt closed the door while Blaine watched the people still walking inside. Watched some of them laugh, hug, meeting their friends again after this summer break. He even saw the football players, saw Mercedes walking with Sam inside and holding hands. Oh, wow, okay. He should talk with her about that because two weeks ago it sounded like she wanted to break up with him.

“Ready?” he heard his boyfriend saying behind him and turned around, staring, burning the image of his smiling, beautiful boyfriend inside his mind so he would always think about this face, this look and smile when he felt lost.

“Ready.”

The familiar hand reached out for Blaine's, holding it tightly and warm and they left the parking lot. Yes, with this feeling he knew they would make it through this day, through this year. Somehow they would make it.


End file.
